


One Kiss

by meikahidenori



Series: Jet Set Radio Future [1]
Category: jet set radio - jet set radio future
Genre: M/M, jet set radio and jet set radio future combined
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-04 23:54:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meikahidenori/pseuds/meikahidenori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>pre-story for Love over revenge (which is being updated to flow after this one) before Beat and Corn started as a couple and the little holiday getaway that became something more than friendship.</p><p>WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH AND ANIMAL ABUSE. do not read if you are iffy on this sort of thing... also HEAVY EMOTIONAL WARNING, don't read if you cannot deal with characters who are at breaking point or cannot tolerate bullying and it's extremes. there is alot of personal emotional experience in this from myself to some degree though it is over the top and exaggerated.</p><p>if there's any wrong words or spelling issues i will resolve them as we go, there's times i don't notice a wrong word has been inserted till several days later :P the downsides of not having anyone who is willing to proof read my works and posting this almost at midnight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Kiss

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Love over Revenge](https://archiveofourown.org/works/703481) by [meikahidenori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meikahidenori/pseuds/meikahidenori). 



Ryth flopped over the couch and watched Beat flip a few pages of the book he was reading.

“So this whole thing about everyone getting into experimenting with each other isn’t getting to you huh?” she poked him in the back of the neck a few times till he put the books down.

“No, but that poking you’re doing is. Please stop.” Beat growled. He was having a lot of afternoons to himself of late no everyone else seemed too preoccupied with exploring avenues of sexuality they hadn’t before. It’s not like he wouldn’t have minded being included, but he was already aware that was never going to happen as none of the guys in the GG’s nor any other bloke he had met in Tokyo-To so far where gay. They all knew it too and steered clear of him now while everyone else was getting things heated up.

“How’ you and Jazz going?” he asked just to steer the subject away from his own personal life. Jazz and Ryth had been going out  for a few weeks now, and so far things had been moving slowly.

“Not so good. The boys are always prying into our affairs. I don’t understand what the attraction of two girls doing it is for them.”

“Well same could be said for you ladies.” Beat was honest and he heard Ryth sigh.

“Too true,” she admitted. “But if it makes it any better, I’d be happy to be a fly on the wall if anyone was to be with you.” This made Beat laugh. Ryth wouldn’t really pry if Beat had someone like that to be with; he was too private a person, one Ryth was happy to leave alone on certain affairs too. “I wonder how Corn’s date with the girl from Rapid 99 went. Clutch and Garam where so enthusiastic to set him up again after the other few failures.”

Beat just stared ahead, and fumbled for his bag of tobacco to roll another smoke with. “Who knows? Personally I would have banged their heads together after the fourth one.”

“Yes but we also know you’re not attracted to girls.”

Beat rolled his eyes and lit the smoke. Taking a deep breath and blowing out one rather long smoke ring, he said, “Thank you for reminding me Ryth for the second time in a space of 10 minutes.”

Ryth looked hurt. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright; I know you don’t mean it as a bad thing. It’s Cube and Garam that really get under my skin.” And with that thought he scratched his arm absentmindedly. “If anything, this has been keeping Gram off my back. I don’t know why girls are all over him, he revolts me, those muscles are so fucking fake, and you can tell he eats nothing but protein bars and similar shit.” Beat was not ashamed of hiding his disgust in Garam in any way shape or form. Ryth giggled, which only encouraged him to continue. “Seriously, the only woman he’d get looking like that that he can truly satisfy is a plastic one.”

“Inflatable?”

“You better fucking believe it.”

Ryth laughed. She loved it when Beat trash talked the other guys. “What about Yo-yo? He’s pretty keen on you.”

“Uh no.” Beat grunted. “He’s sweet, generous and loving right until you say no. Then he’s a manipulative little bastard. The amount of times he’s tried to score with me is rather sad. I don’t think he understands the words ‘fuck off’ unless he miss interprets it and actually goes off to wank himself in his own bedroom.” Beat sighed and lent forward. “He’s a lying Horney little toad. Don’t let his sweet innocent demeanour fool you. He’d be better off using that skill to get girls into bed, heck he most likely does already.” He sat back up and sunk into the chair. “I don’t know how you guys do it Ryth, being interested in everyone no matter what sex. I can just about live with myself, I don’t quite know how you guys can be so accepting.”

Ryth shrugged and draped her arms over his shoulders in a sisterly hug. “I gave up trying to understand it. I just go with the flow and whatever whim takes me.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of with Yo-yo. I know I’d get attached, and I don’t think I’d like the idea of him being so flighty with me.” Beat lifted her arms off him. “I’m not like you guys, I prefer to have one person to myself, as selfish as that may sound.”

“And that will make things a lot harder for you.” Ryth patted him on the shoulder. She felt him shrug. She knew he felt like an outsider, more than he ever had before. Trying to convince him that everything was fine was another kettle of fish.

They both looked up when Corn stormed through.

“Bad time huh?” Ryth said before Beat could stop her.

Corn gave her a dark glare. “You have dinner with a beautiful lady, you go back to her place and you lose attraction from there. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, they’re nice girls….”

Ryth gave Beat a small glance and continued. “Sorry to hear that, Corn.”

“If you need to talk Yasuda, you only have to ask.” Beat volunteered, using Corn’s real name. Corn would usually rip into anyone else who used it, but Beat was an exception. They had been friends for too long and after fighting other gangs and in the end fighting the head of the Golden Rhinos – one of the most dangerous criminal gangs in Tokyo-To - on two separate occasions, earned the right to do so.

There were some noises heading in their direction, mostly laughter, and all pretty intoxicated. Beat gave them both a look and thumped the arms of the chair. “That’s my cue to book it, I hear a wall covered in whitewash calling me.” The rest of the gang would have been out partying again, and Beat didn’t want to be anywhere near them. Neither Garam or Cube watched what they said while drunk and Cube would go out of her way to try and make herself seductive, and the last time she tried that, Beat was not only picking up Garam’s teeth out his knuckles, he was also trying to escape Boogie trying to lay it on too. It wasn’t his idea of fun, being beaten up just because some idiot mistook the struggle to avoid a drunken idiot for flirting with his girl. Beat would never find Cube attractive, even if he was straight.

He got up just as Yo-yo waltzed in, drunk as a skunk and wrapped his arms around Beat and gave him a goofy grin. Beat scowled and shook him off making a quick escape. He had no time for Yo-yo’s drunken banter, Beat had a very good memory of what lengths Yo-yo would go to try and get into his trousers… or anyone’s really after he’d been drinking. Corn could see a storm coming, and didn’t want to be around either. Chances are if he told the others about tonight’s failure they’d set him up with another date and he was not ready to go through that all again. Maybe talking with Beat about it wasn’t such a bad idea.

“Hey Ry, wait up.” He called out; Sliding passed Yo-yo who had draped his arms around Ryth’s shoulders.

 

It took a few moments for Corn to catch up with him. Beat had stopped around the busy Dragon district of 99th street and ducked into one of the small street vendors. Corn sat on one of the stools beside him and ordered some sushi from the chief behind the grill. The large fat man grunted and tossed a small bento box over the counter that had quite possibly be made that morning, but chances lay in it being made from a week ago. Corn decided to risk it. Beat had ordered a beer and some fish cake he couldn’t really pronounce the name of.

“I asked Soda about taking up one of the spare rooms he had for offer.” Beat said casually, just to clear the air. “He said he’ll find out for me, but it may take at least a month or two before he can get a permit to sublet.” He sighed. “You can only take so much you know? The personal space might be good anyway.” He smiled and took a sip of the can. “Ergh, this beer, tastes foul and it’s warm.”

“I’d hate to see you go.” Corn felt some sort of response was necessary.

“It’s a wait and see. It may not happen. It’s just something to look forward too for me.” Beat poked his food like it was some alien lifeform. “It’s not like I’m going to leave the GG’s or anything…it’s just things are a little too much at the moment with everyone having their little orgie parties and what not. It’s like a swinger’s club in there and I really don’t want a part of it.”

Corn sighed. He knew exactly what Beat meant.

“I just want to find the right person.” Corn muttered, mostly to himself. “I just can’t feel any connection to these people they set me up with, they’re nice and all but I just don’t feel it.”

“Maybe it’s not the people, and it’s you that needs to sit down and think about how you feel in yourself.” Beat took a bite off his plate, frowned and took another sip of beer.

“You’re no real comfort.” Corn hissed.

“I never said I would be. What is it that seems to ruin the whole thing for you anyway? Maybe working out the connections might help you understand what’s happening with your attempts to have a relationship.” Beat stepped around the big answer this time. He knew what the problem was, He himself discovered it in a similar fashion years ago before coming to japan. He wasn’t going to force the idea on Corn unless he came to the conclusion himself. “Why don’t you tell me then? I’m listening.” Corn caught a glint of green before Beat pushed his shades back on the bridge of his nose.

Corn hesitated. He didn’t really want to have to do that, but Beat was offering a shoulder and it would be rude to refuse.

“Well, I guess it’s a sense of physical attraction.” Corn was treading water without knowing if he would wade suddenly into a deep sink hole. “At least I thought so after the first two. The others… I’m not sure. Either I’m just not into woman, or I’m not really as ready as I thought I was.” He scoffed down another piece of sashimi. “Is there something wrong with me to think that or am I going crazy?”

“No you’re not crazy and there’s nothing wrong with you.” Beat sighed. “At least, nothing wrong with you in a normal sense, otherwise me saying there is means that something is clearly wrong with me being well me really.” He stopped playing with his food; most of it had been left untouched. He was struggling with his appetite again. The stress of being in an environment that was excluding him from it was beginning to show in small ways. “If you need anything or want to ask anything, my room is just across from yours. I won’t tell anyone else, that’s for you to decide when you’re ready to accept how you feel.” Beat stood up and lit another smoke and looked out into the bustling street. “But I suggest you think about it before coming out into the open. After that, only then I’ll be able to help you with it.” And with that he headed off, blending into the crowd.

Corn rested on his palms, picked up the can Beat had, shook it and drunk the half that was left. Beat was right, the beer tasted foul. He was also right about Corn needing to think things over before jumping to conclusions. He noticed how little of the fish cake his companion had actually eaten and mumbled something inaudible. Maybe he should wait before having another chat with Beat about this again; the guy seemed to be highly strung as it was and probably didn’t need Corn’s added problems.

The night dragged on, Corn lying in his own makeshift bed, tossing and turning till he fell onto the floor. He couldn’t shake what Beat had said from his mind. Was it true that he really wasn’t into girls? What would that mean, as he knew he wasn’t ever interested in guys the same way either. Nothing was making much sense.

He stood up and walked across the room, opening the door and crossing the Hall and grabbing the door knob to Beat’s room. He hesitated. Beat may not be awake at this time and might not want to be bothered. There was quite a lot of noise coming from the room next door which suggested whoever was in there was having too much fun and had no consideration for other people. He vaguely could remember who’s room that was, the others where swapping around in them so much it was hard to keep track anymore. Corn knew if he had to listen to that all night, there was no way he’d be asleep.

He knocked on the door. “Are you awake Beat?” he whispered.

The door opened a little, Beat not too inclined to let someone see into his room. He looked like hell had frozen over several times and was in bad need of a shave. “Yasu?” he yawned. “Why are you still awake? If they’re making too much noise in there I can’t do very much about it, other than lend you my headphones and some seriously loud music, but that’d leave me without my back up plan.”

“No, I just wanted to talk. I have a bit of stuff on my mind.”

Beat opened the door wide to let him inside. The room was a lot smaller than Corns and there was very little stuff in it to indicate it belonged to anyone. There were a few freehand paintings on the wall of coloured rats that represented the friends he had made in the gang. There were a few cross outs and two that where changed into evil looking grinning dogs and the one he though looked like Yo-yo was a devious cat. When it came to his opinion of anyone, Beat always expressed it, even in private. There was another big one which Corn wasn’t sure what it fully meant, it was of a red rat suspended in a cage in a dead tree reaching out to colourful birds that where flying around it. Beat saw him looking at it.

“What did you want to talk about?” Beat folded his arms.

“Well, I wanted to ask you something’s actually…” Corn fumbled for words, playing with his fingers, unable to look Beat in the eyes.

“Hmm?”

“It’s personal.”

“If this is going to go where I think it’s going to go, you can stop right there.”

Corn looked up and could see Beat’s lack of amusement in his features. “I don’t particularly want to talk about myself or why I am gay alright? In honesty I realised the same way you have, though I did have a bit of encouragement in the way of self-discovery with a bunch of dirty magazines.” He dropped his folded arms and sat down on the bed. “Is this what you wanted to know?”

“Well no, yes… I’m not really sure. I just wanted to know when you felt sure about it that’s all.” Corn felt so stupid for asking. Beat’s bad mood wasn’t the best time to ask him anything as it was all going to be direct and cruel sounding.

“Corn, the only way you’re ever going to be sure is when you feel you’ve made the choice in yourself. I can’t really tell you what you’re supposed to do or feel. The others might say a few things, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want to go ahead and do that.” He gave a sympathetic look. “You know the amount of shit I get around here, I’d hate for you to have the same, especially since you’re only new to finding out your own sexuality and whatever.”

“Oh ok, fair enough. Still I don’t really know how I feel, about all this. I’m sorry to have bothered you.” Corn looked dejected and Beat felt really guilty. He really liked Corn a lot and was a little torn about coming out into the open with him, or letting him figure things out for himself first before being open with him. Keeping things to yourself for a long time and knowing things may never really happen only to change into something possible and have it handed directly into your lap was a hard thing to take, especially if you desired it.

Beat sighed. “Well, I could always try something… and if you don’t feel anything afterward, well we know that you’re not really gay neither. How about it?” Corn looked surprised and Beat waved his arms about. “I don’t mean it like that; I am not like them in the next room I assure you. I couldn’t do that with anyone I really like let alone someone who doesn’t really know any better.” He looked down for a few moments. His heart was pounding and he was starting to sweat. He ran his hand through his hair full of nervousness. “Sit down for a second.” He patted the bed beside him. He took a deep breath when Corn did so to try and calm down. If Corn had no reaction to this, He was going to be hurt, and if Corn liked it he was going to be really embarrassed and want the hell out of the room. Either way he wasn’t keen on what he was about to do, but if the ends justified the means, then he thought that everything would be ok… at least for Corn.

He swallowed. It was now or never. His green eyes searched Corn’s pretty blue ones. His heart was pounding rapidly now, a mixture of excitement and fear all combining into one large panic attack. He leant in close, his hand drifting to the side of Corns cheek gently touching it and pulling him forward for a kiss. It was slow at first, but Beat found some hidden courage to kiss him more softly, lovingly, unwilling to pull away. When the kiss broke, Beat was flustered and stood up rather rashly, fumbling to grab a shirt. He didn’t care what reaction to is Corn had, he felt stupid and exposed and had to get the hell out of there.

“Ryan?” Corn was surprised by Beat’s sudden reaction to possibly the most beautiful kiss he had ever been exposed to.

“I’m sorry Yasu, I..I…” Beat was panicking so badly he couldn’t even give Corn a straight answer. He opened the door and made a run for it without looking back.

 

Gum had to do a double take. Yep, that was Beat sitting on the swings in the old play ground in Kogane-Cho, she just had not recognised him from his clothes… or lack thereof. Beat never ventured outside his own room in his boxers and a buttoned shirt before in his own bare feet, which said something was really wrong with him. Ryth, Corn, Yo-yo and herself had been looking everywhere for him the whole day. Corn hadn’t said much to the others, but did tell his sister flat out what had happened, which for Gum at this very moment, filled in a lot of the blanks.

She sat in the swing next to him and sat in silence for a little while. She knew he’d talk when he was ready.

“Haru?”

“Yes Ry?”

“Have you ever done anything that made you feel stupid before? I mean, like involving another person?”

Gum laughed. “Well yes, there was when I asked you to go out with me and then you telling me you were gay. I did feel rather stupid after all that time I spent flirting with out and the like.”

“Sorry I shouldn’t have asked.” Beat cursed his short memory.

“It’s ok I got over it. I still feel bad about blurting it to the other’s too.”

“They would have found out sooner or later, Haru so please don’t feel guilty about it alright?” Beat gave her a brief smile. She returned it.

“Your brother asked me a few things, about the last couple of dates he had.” Beat looked at his feet, not wanting to see Gum’s expression in case she had not been told any of this already and wasn’t prepared to hear it. “He wanted to know why I was… not into girls and wanted to know if he had a similar problem. To …make sure he really was sure I…I..” Gum’s hand rested on his knees and she could visibly see him shaking.

“It’s alright, I know about the Kiss. Yasu pulled me aside and we had a few brief words. Only I know about it, but after your reaction, I’m not going to be surprised some of the others are going to guess themselves the same conclusion.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have, but he really wanted to know and well… I panicked. I didn’t wait to see what his reaction was. You know I like your brother a lot, I trust him, I’d follow him anywhere and do anything for him if he asked…I couldn’t stand there and watch him reject me, or at least look at me like I’d done something wrong.”

Gum sighed. She felt the same way about Beat at one time and in some ways despite moving on, still did. “Well why don’t we go back and find out then? I did say he was looking for you, so that has to be something. Maybe you can ask him why he chased after you?”

“You think so?”

“I’m sure. If it’s all bad well at least you can hold your pride and move on I guess.” Gum didn’t really know what else to say other than that, but it seemed to reassure him a little.

“I guess you’re right.”

It was a slow trek back to the GG garage. Beat had cheered up considerably, and Gum was relived to be joking around with him. It didn’t stop things forming at the back of her mind and she was aware he’d have the same doubts too. Stepping foot in there, Corn grabbed Beat by the arms and demanded:

“Where the hell did you run off too? We’re still at war with the other gangs remember? I was worried about you.”

“Uh, nice to see you too Corn.” Beat shook him loose. Gum gave him a reassuring look. “I just needed some space, that’s all. I’m sorry.” Beat wasn’t about to admit that he panicked, as that would mean that there was something going on, when you’re in a room full of people who you’re keeping a secret from every word you don’t say is scanned for other intentions.

“Awww come on Beat, we all know Yo-yo and Clutch saw you run out of your room last night. We can connect the dots.” Cube said nastily. “Garam in the room next door with his little trollop even saw Corn come out of their a little worried and confused. We know something went on in there, what was it? Trying to convince Corn that after all those bad dates that he may actually be gay? PFFT you’d have to be stupid to come to that conclusion after a few bad dates. What did you do, kiss him? You did didn’t you, we knew you were just another disgusting little-”

“Just shut up Cube!” Beat shouted. Everyone else had fallen silent. Beat had a very loud voice and could usually instil fear just by sounding menacing. Yelling tended to make you cower and look inedible… which is why Clutch had already fled the room to a safe distance at the other end of the garage, Jazz had slunk further into her seat to try and hide and Corn stood back several paces away from Beat slightly terrified. Gum had started to reach for his shoulder and hesitated. She could feel the anger and a lot of fear coming off him and decided against it.

“You don’t know squat, so don’t start making up shit. We could have just been talking for all you know and something came up that I didn’t want to hear.”

Cube walked in close and tried to look bigger and more threating. Beat wasn’t scary at least to her, as she hated him and his choice of sexuality. Cube wasn’t nasty to just anyone, just to those who she deemed should be lynched. She didn’t like Jazz or Ryth’s little fling going on either, but it was far less fun as they didn’t really fight back. Beat usually didn’t either, but Cube learned how to play him and really catch him when he was already in some sort of distress so she could push him further, showing the GG’s the creature they had included as one of their own. Because of this constant shoving, Beat was already alienated from the rest of them, and the few remaining friends he had left where starting to turn away thinking he wasn’t worth the time of day anymore.

“Is it that you got turned down? Aww poor Beat you’re so damn desperate you’d actually try and go for your best friend. You’re a sick freak you know that? It’s disgusting, even straight people don’t do that!”

Gum stepped in-between them, just as she saw Beat’s hands shift to grab the nearest object at hand.

“ Feh, look who’s come to your defence, it’s the woman you turned down. I don’t know why since you crushed her feelings but I guess she’s just as stupid as you are.”

Beat sighed and just gave in, grabbing Gum’s arm before she swung it at Cube’s face. He was sick of this and was really feeling the hurt. “Your right Cube. I am a sick twisted Fuck, you happy? I willingly try to manipulate and take advantage of everyone here so they can have ridiculous orgies and endless changing relationships so hopefully one will cave and come to me. It was a genius plan, and it failed. You caught me and won. You couldn’t believe I’m still a virgin because I’m trying to get into everyone’s pants, or in the case of Corn, swing him my way. Well guess what sister, I’m the only fucking virgin in this whole gang who would rather if you took your damn sex lives and shoved them up your arses and take them the fuck out of my face. But I’m evil so I guess everything I’ve just said is another twisted lie. Go suck a cock, you can tell you need to.” With that said, Beat ducked passed both girls and the rest of the GG’s who just stared at him until he slammed the door to his room behind him. The others looked at each other slightly guilty or at least with some sense of self disgust, and Cube, happy with herself still bore a smirk that was; till Gum slapped her one across the face.

Beat sat with his back to the door and banged his head against it. He could still hear the muted conversations in the other room after he had left and there were a few more choice words from Cube and then a few more added from Garam as he knew that he could freely say what he wanted without the fear of Beat punching him one. They all stabbed deep into his soul and made his heart burn. What really hurt was Corn’s lack of defence when they started pressuring him with what happened. The guy didn’t really know what to say, but openly admitting to Beat kissing him without the rest of the situation in context was enough to make his heart break. He usually kept his emotions away from the GG base incase others saw it as a weakness - choosing to only ever break down when he was sure he was far away enough when things got too much, which did tend to happen from time to time from stress – but as of now it didn’t seem to matter. There was nowhere he could get to that would be far way fast enough. He always felt slightly trapped within the gang and his own thoughts, but never actually felt like a prisoner before in his own body and spirit too. He’d have to change the painting on the wall, the cage the rat was in wasn’t small enough… or the birds where too close to reach or the thought of removing all the birds together crossed his mind. He sunk his head into his knees and his body just began to shake with sobs. He was beyond just letting it out with a painting anymore, there was just too much weighing him down this time.

A few hours had passed, most of the GG’s where back to their usual business of being out and about the city causing chaos. Yo-yo was a little concerned, more so than usual after giving the recent situation some thought. He himself had spent months trying to get anywhere near Beat let alone into the guys room or physically kiss him, and was a little thrown off that Corn had somehow managed both in the one night. This whole ‘affair’ had set any progress he may have actually made back to the very beginning, and Yo-yo wasn’t too pleased to have to rework on Beat again. He was hoping against all hope that Beat’s defences where down enough to let him in and offer his special brand of comfort, and giving him the pleasure of conquering the summit of the ex-GG leader.

He knocked on the door and listened to the sound. The knocking indicated something, or someone was pressed against the other side. “Beat, it’s Yo-yo. I’m a little worried about you, would you let me in so was can have a talk?”

“Do I look like an idiot? I wouldn’t let you in if you where the fucking Queen of last year’s Sydney mardigra. Get lost.”

Yo-yo stood back from the door and huffed. Well that didn’t work, Beat’s mood was even fouler than before and Yo-yo wasn’t even going to venture into the den of a beast that could possibly eat him alive. There had to be a safer option. He glanced over at Corn’s quarters which was just across from Beats. Corn was also pretty flustered when pressed about what he and Beat where doing the other night, and unlike Beat who snapped back, Corn, caved and before heading for his room, openly admitted he was out of the closet  and had asked Beat for advice about it. Yo-yo knew there was more to it, but with so many wild accusations being thrown around after Beat’s scary exit, no one was willing to listen to Corn, or at least believe that he was trying to tell them he wasn’t who they were forcing him to be.

“Hey Corn, you in there? It’s me, Yo.”

Corn was a little more inclined to open the door than Beat had been, but only by a small fraction.

“What do you want? You want to tell me that what I’m choosing to do with my life is wrong like everyone else and try and set me up on another stupid date? Or are you just here to just say more horrible things about Beat that he doesn’t deserve?”

“No, nothing like that. I just want to chat.” Yo-yo lied. Hiding his other intentions was going to be too easy.

The door opened to let him step inside.

 

“Ok, let’s get things straight before I go over there…” Beat muttered to himself as he paces his small room. “It was just a kiss, and it didn’t mean anything, but you wanted to know what Corn felt afterward, and whether or not he liked kissing another guy.” Beat banged his head against a wall and touched it to support himself. “Can’t do that, even to myself that sounds so stupid. The kiss meant a lot of things to me, even if they didn’t mean the same things back… but I can’t let him know that, can I?” he started pacing again. “But what if he wanted to explore further? Could I honestly help him with that knowing that he might not ever have feelings for me back?” he punched another wall. “What the hell do I do? It’d scare him off that’s what I would do and what’d I be left doing? Same thing I always damn do, try and make others happy then hide in my room and get stuck into these stupid fake love stories and stare at those stupid fakers in those ladies magazines as they don’t have magazines aimed at gay men and pretend I’m not jerking off to them just to make myself feel better.” There was an animal like whine coming from under the bed sheets. “Easy for you to say pots, you just mate with whoever you like and don’t have to feel guilty about the end result do you boy.” Pots, the GG’s official mascot and elderly bulldog grunted. Pots had taken a liking to Beat’s room over the years and had made Beat find locking himself in there for days a time bearable. Fair enough the dog couldn’t talk back, but it was something at least to say you were talking to if anyone asked you if you were going crazy. Beat sat down next to the dog and scratched him behind his ears. “You don’t have to worry about hurting their feelings, or hurting your own or anything like that, do ya boy?” Pots let out a rumbling whine and rolled over to show off his underside for a belly rub. Beat absent mildly obliged, the dog panting and kicking one of its legs back and forth. “You’re a spoiled old bastard.” He smiled as pots snorted and tried to lick Beat’s arm while upside-down, a hilarious feat for a bulldog. Beat patted him a few times on the tummy and Pots rolled over, pulling himself along the bed as Beat stood back up. Beat opened the door and looked back. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m just going over to apologise. I promise to take you for a walk afterward ok? Everyone seems to have buggered off for the time being and I don’t really want to be around them when they come back. I promise it’ll be short one around the block, long enough to by some food for the mini fridge ok?” He gave a half-hearted smile as pots whined and panted, licking his huge chops and letting out a bark. The dog rolled off the bed and crossed the floor and followed Beat out into the hall, sitting out front of Corn’s room waiting patiently as a dog can look. Beat touched the door and heisted. There where voices on the other side. He rested as close as he dared to the door, and held a finger to his lips. Pots pawed at his face as a sign Beat took as a doggy equivalent of a pinky swear.

 

“So that’s pretty much it Yo-yo.” Corn finished telling him the events leading up to yesterday. “I don’t really understand what happened and why Beat acted the way he did, but I feel really bad about asking him in regards to all this after well, all of that.” He looked at Yo-yo searching for some sort of disapproval, but got only honest listening and continued, “I feel bad for involving him now, but I had to know why I was feeling like I did and why I didn’t have any feelings for those girls.”

“Well, I would have done what Beat did.” Yo-yo conceded. Admittedly, he said inwardly, he wouldn’t have done it as a person who was unsure about what reaction he might have got, Yo-yo a firm believer in going through with the whole nine yards and maybe even trying to hit third base in that one sitting. He himself was confused as to why Beat chose to go that way in helping Corn out, and the only thing he could do was assume Beat had a crush on Corn that was enough to let his guard down, even for a few moments. Yo-yo hated knowing that, but was good enough not to show it and more interested as to why the red head was so into the blonde. If he could work that out, getting Beat in the bed would be so much easier.

“But you know; I bet he hasn’t kissed anyone on an intimate level before. He said himself that he’s still an angel. He should have really stuck with giving you some dirty magazines.” Yo-yo sat on the bed behind Corn and rubbed his shoulders. “You could have asked me though. I would have helped as well, I mean I may not be gay or anything, but I am bi-sexual and I know a few things that well… Beat sadly wouldn’t.”

“Really?” Corn’s voice wavered. He actually didn’t mind Beat kissing him; he trusted him after all and knew he wouldn’t have taken it too far. In truth Corn was ready to run if it didn’t go too well, but was rather surprised that Beat did instead. The kiss was something that was really strange at first, but wasn’t unpleasant as trying to kiss the girls had been. He couldn’t really describe it other than say it felt like feathers across his lips. He wanted to tell Beat that he wanted to try it again, but after this whole thing that had happened afterward, was afraid to do so.

Yo-yo purred in Corn’s ear. “Yes. And I can show you some now if you like.” He leant in to kiss Corn, more forceful and purposeful than Beat had done before. Yo-yo’s hand started to snake under Corn’s clothes hunting around to get Corn excited very quickly with minimum effort. He broke the kiss and then said, “This can be a no attachment thing just between you and me. I’ll help you explore yourself, and if at any time you get uncomfortable with it, I’ll stop ok?”

 

Beat could have stormed in there then and then. He was so mad after listening to them for twenty minutes. He was mad at Corn for his nativity and upset with Yo-yo for his manipulation, but didn’t barge into the room. He was mostly angry with himself, and it was this rage that stopped him. He did lose any chance he could have had with Corn fair and square the second he panicked and left him there with no explanation as to why. He cast his eye to pots; who just looked at him like dogs do when they know their masters are not quite feeling themselves. “Come on boy, let’s…” Beat paused. “Get out of here for a while.” He headed for the Garage’s main doors with Pots close to his heels.

 

“Alright…” Corn’s voice wavered as Yo-yo kissed him again, with a lot more hunger than the first one. Yo-yo hands had delved straight for his prime target too, which made Corn jump in surprise at the touch.

“It’s alright,” Yo-yo purred. It’s meant to feel good. You’re supposed to enjoy it.”

“Is… is my heart supposed to leap out of my chest when you…you AH!” Corn grunted when Yo-yo decided to squeeze him into silence.

“Shhh, my word you are a bit of a squealer. Not so loud, we don’t want the other’s to know until you’re absolutely certain this is what you want.” Mentally Yo-yo added, if Beat DID have feelings for Corn he’d rip him apart if he found out what he was about to do now. Yo-yo breathed words of reassurance into Corns ear and found quite a bit of amusement in toying with him. Corn didn’t need to be teased either, he was a little too easy to give Yo-yo what he wanted. “How’s was that? You like?” he smiled when Corn just nodded. “Good. We’re just getting started.”

 

Buses passed and cars honked their horns as the traffic in Shibuya was at its peak in the late afternoon rush hour. Pots trotted along the sidewalk in the shade of Beat’s shadow, panting and occasionally grunting, looking up at Beat to make sure he hadn’t left his side. Occasionally Beat would stop and look in shop windows, allowing Pots a small breather and a chance to rest his stubby legs. He could remember long walks and times where he had been pulled along on the end of a rope while wearing skates, or at the very least on a skateboard. Now, even a short wander around the garage was enough to wind the poor devil. This walk was longer than the normal one’s he had got these days, and he was constantly looking upward incase his assumed master had forgotten that he was only a little dog with stubby legs who was pushing thirteen years old.

Beat leaned over and gave Pots a few pats on the head. The bulldog wolfed and tried to wag his stump of a tail. “Sorry boy. I almost forgot we’ve been gone too long. I promise you a nice big bone, how’s about it?” Pots barked again this time freezing before having his stumpy tail go into a frenzy. Beat looked up and smiled. “Hey Soda, long time no see!” He stood up and gave his old gang mate a hug which was returned just as tightly.

“Same to you Beat, though a handshake would have been alright too.” He laughed.

“Yeah I’m sorry about that; it’s been rather rough since the last time we talked. How’s married life going?”

Soda reached down to give Pots a pat and the dog rewarded him with a hand covered in slobber. “It’s been alright, but I do miss hanging with you guys.” He stood back up. “They’re still giving you rubbish huh?”

Beat shrugged. “Worse than that I’m afraid. I think I’ve managed to ruin my life far worse than I ever have before this time.”

“Well I do have some good news for you at least.” Soda patted him on the back. “Come on I’ll by you and the dog a drink.” Soda led them over to a small café a little further along the street and sat down on one of the outside chairs. Pots plodded over and plonked down under the table in the shade. “Coffee?”

“Uh, no, just I dunno, something cold… maybe.” Beat took a seat and wasn’t too sure what he was really doing. Café’s where something that hadn’t factored into his life for years and normal social behaviours associated with being social with strangers even on a basic level felt rather strange. He watched a waitress hover over to them, take Soda’s order and float away into the hustle and bustle of the shop behind. It was like another world had opened its doors and he was only just watching through the glass.

“Anyway, good news first.” Soda thumped the table as if to imitate a drum roll. “We got the paper work to sublet go through! We will be able to take anyone wanting tenancy in a month. So if you still want to move in, you now can.” He paused and laughed. “If that is you can hold out that long. By the look of you… you may have tried to find a place already due to being sick of waiting.”

Beat scratched his jaw subconsciously. He had not shaved since running out the other day on Corn and his mixed blood heritage was showing through with a light sprinkle of red fuzz. “No you’re out of luck on that I’m afraid. I can’t afford to pay too high a price on my own. For what they want in most places I can afford one room and that’s it. No food, water or electricity would eventually kill me. At the moment in the garage we can get away with all of us chipping in a small percentage each week to keep the basics going. Besides, I’d be happier if I moved near or at least somewhere where I knew the people.”

“Well it’s only being for the room at our place in any case, the food and other stuff are included. Jobs are hard to come by here for foreigners and a lot harder for law breakers like yourself, so we’re not expecting you to find work or anything in a hurry.” Soda smiled politely to the waitress as she brought out their drinks and even gave Pots his own personal little doggy dish, which Pots greedily drank down.

“Thanks. You don’t know how much it will help in the long run. I can’t sleep with some of the stuff that goes on in the other rooms, I don’t know if Corn does either in his, but he’s always looking like he’s fresh as a damn daisy.” Beat stirred his milkshake with the straw. “If Clutch is half as bad as Garam is with the ladies of easy virtue I doubt it would be very much. You and Combo got out while it was still good. He still drops by actually with his little girl, though I do think it’s only because both me and Ryth are still there and little Steph still thinks where her Auntie and Uncle.”

“I’m guessing things are not as peachy as you seem to be making them out to be.” Soda gave Beat an inquiring look.

“Why lie? I hate it. I am trying to hold out I really am but well, the last two days have made things turn a bit more hellish, if you get my drift.”

“You told Corn you liked him didn’t you?” Good old Soda, you can’t hide anything from the man, even when you haven’t seen him for several weeks.

Beat looked away. “Not exactly no. I’d rather not go into it… let’s just say I really should be heading back before Cube and some of the other’s come back and wall myself in my little hole in the wall; by filling the mini fridge in there with some bottles of water and some tinned food I can hold out a few weeks… as long as I time bathroom escape plans while they’re not around and the like I should be fine.” Beat sighed.

“That’s no way to live Ryan.”

“I know it isn’t. It’s all I have for now. There’s nothing I can really do about it.” Beat sunk deep into the metal seat.

Soda leaned forward, his hands together in front of his chin. “You know, my wife has some connections with a relative who owns a little hotel business in Okinawa… you know, down at the beach like. I maybe able to see if she can pull a few strings and get you one whole week there… heck I can see how far she can push it and make it for two people for the week, all expenses paid. You’d only have to take spending money.”

“That’s way too generous, I can’t take that.” Beat frowned. “Besides, who’d I take with me anyway? It’s not like I can take Corn with me to somewhere beautiful like that and tell him how I feel on a bit of beach somewhere. I missed my chance to have anything to do with him this morning.” He realised he should be drinking the milkshake Soda had paid for and took out the straw to drink directly from the glass. It wasn’t charming or civilized, but damn did it felt good and Soda did smile happy that at least he was drinking it. Those that were still his friends knew about the eating disorder he managed to put upon himself, and it would hurt to see them have to go through all that again. “Thankyou anyway, but I reckon I’ll be fine.”

“Fair enough I won’t press it, but the offer is going to remain open. Unlike anyone else you’re always on your guard and hell it’d do you some good to actually relax away from all..” Soda waved a hand to indicate the city, “This and the crap from some of the others. It can’t be good for you at all.”

“I know Ryota, I know. It’s not the haters that worry me. I’m more worried about being manipulated when I’m at my lowest. That’s when I think I need the help, when I can’t fight back.” Beat took a final scull of the Milkshake. “Yo-yo’s been trying it on for months, sure I’ve been handling it so far, but I didn’t have to worry about anything emotional for that whole time too. He knows it’s possible for me to let my guard down now, so there’s nothing stopping him doing something that will eventually get to me.” He didn’t mention Yo-yo and Corn’s little over heard conversation or the fact Yo-yo was already possibly using Corn to get back at Beat with for all the times he had told him to get lost or the fact he didn’t do something to stop it. He had been kicking himself all afternoon about that too.

“Do you think he knows about your feelings towards Yasuda?”

“Well if he didn’t, he does now Ryota. Everybody damn knows and I didn’t have to utter a sound. Fuck I wouldn’t put it past the little weasel tricking Yasu into sleeping with him right about now.” Beat cursed his big mouth. Soda could read him like a book and the raised inquisitive eyebrow meant he had already worked out what Beat had said about being gotten too. “Ah Fuck. Look, he’s a grown man, can look after himself and his own decisions. I have no right interfering with whatever he chooses to do, whether it’s with someone else or not.”

“But what if he’s being used? Shouldn’t you stop it Ryan?” Soda stared him down.

Beat couldn’t look at him anymore. “And if I did? What’s stopping everyone else getting the wrong idea? They already think I’m a leech who lured him to me in the damn first place, even though he damn came to me himself. It’s not just a school kid crush or anything; I’ve always followed him around like a damn little puppy. If he called I’d well come running wagging my stupid little tail. I got used to knowing that as long as he didn’t know my feelings, everything would be ok. Sure, the dates with all the girls did hurt a little, but then I knew he wasn’t my way or anything. When you know that it’s never going to be a possibility you get over things like that. As of now I don’t really know anymore and I’m too damn terrified to find out… that and I think I’ve lost the only chance I was ever going to get.” Beat took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sorry Ryota. I shouldn’t tell you all my problems.”

Soda smiled politely. “You have to tell someone sometime Ryan. Bottling it up forever just hurts. Besides, we come to you with all of ours, so it’s only fair.”

“Yeah… I guess you’re right.”

Soda chuckled. “Of course I’m damn right. For some bizarre reason my advice is the only one you ever listen to and I hope you damn well continue to do so, as let’s face it, you’d have to be an idiot to let go of a person like yourself as a friend. You’re a damn rare find, don’t forget that.”

“Ha, you always know when to put me back in my place.”

“Damn straight.” Soda folded his arms and laughed. Beat couldn’t help but return it with a smile.

 

It was late when they got back to the GG den. Pots grunted and snorted his way inside; the only thought in his little doggy brain was to sleep on the comfy mattress of Beat’s bed. Soda stopped when he noticed Beat freeze at the sound of Cube’s voice from inside.

“You ok Ryan?” Soda asked.

“No. how about you take all the stuff to my room and help me climb in via the window?”

“That’s not going to happen. For a start, you’re a little too tall for that.” Soda shook his head, hiding a smile in the folds of his jacket. “They sound rather intoxicated.” He added in a bid to be helpful.

“Ergh, that’s even worse.” Beat took a few steps back. Soda could see that the endless hours of being tormented where beginning to show through into his actions.

“I’ll go in first shall I?” Soda volunteered. “That way you can sneak past. They haven’t seen me in a while, so they’ll be easily distracted.”

“I guess.” Beat gave in. Soda stepped through the doorway and a small commotion started up with his arrival. Beat shut his eyes and stepped behind him, and while Cube and the others were busy asking Soda questions about his weeks of absence, Beat slunk passed and bolted for his room. He was caught just a few inches from salvation by Yo-yo who was closing Corn’s room door behind him.

“Oh hey Beat glad I could catch you, you got a few minutes?” he had artfully stepped in the way of Beat’s only exist for a clean escape.

“Do I have much of a choice?”

“Well yes, but I’d rather you and I have a few words anyway. I want to apologise for my behaviour the past few months, and in the last week or so especially. I should be trying to force you into things you don’t feel comfort-”

“Out with it Yo.” Beat cut him off before Yo-yo could waffle long enough to spin another lie. “You’re lucky I don’t deck you right where you’re standing.”

“Ow, so hurtfully violent of you.” Yo-yo pulled a fake look of pure offence. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you if you ever need to talk, and I’m not going to try and pull anything. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on now and then..”

“Go back and crawl under the rock you slid out from under.” Beat shouldered him out of the way and shut the door in Yo-yo’s face.

“Hmmph, how rude.” Yo-yo folded his arms in a huff. “Oh well, at least someone appreciates my offers.” And with that, he walked away. He didn’t hear Beat slam his hand into the door with a lot of anger and force after hearing that last comment through the woodwork.

It had been at least a week since Beat had locked himself up in his room. Rumours where already circulating about what he could possibly be doing in there, but they did hear the door open once or twice long enough for a walk to the bathroom and back. No one dared to knock, just in case they heard anything.

For that whole week, Yo-yo was really twisting Corn around his little fingers. Corn’s worry for the redhead where easily channelled into some interesting and very aggressive sex, and Yo-yo loved it. He even encouraged it a few times, making Corn so upset with him that he even tried turning the tables on the horny little gang member. It was beginning to wear thin with Corn, there where times where he lay with Yo-yo’s naked body on top of him and he was wondering how he got there, or why he was doing this. It wasn’t romantic, it was just sex. For Corn, there was something missing and he couldn’t quite work out what it was. There was a few times when Yo-yo had decided to be gentle and Corn couldn’t help and think of someone else, wishing that he was kissing him instead. First kisses don’t usually leave an impression, but this one had. There was a feeling in it that he could never get form any of Yo-yo’s enthusiastic raids on his person and Corn was beginning to wonder what it would be like to just once, have that sort of emotion through the whole process.

It would be lying to say that Yo-yo wasn’t noticing the change. Infact now he was getting what he wanted, he was beginning to get bored. Corn the virgin was a lot more fun, as he could call all the shots and had all the power over him. The fun was beginning to die with the realisation Corn really was interested in something or at least someone else.

In the end, something had to be done about Beat. Even Ryth and Gum where worried, they had left food outside and none of it was ever taken, which was rather disturbing to them. Garam had even tried with Ryth to gross him out of there by trying to fake sex in the room next door to no avail.

“Look we just have to face it; he’s not coming out of there while we’re all hanging around here all the time. He’s got music, paints, pencils, paper and a blasted mini fridge in there. If he’s going to want to stay a gay lonely little hermit, he’s going to stay a little lonely gay hermit.” Cube snorted.

“Stop it Cube, you’re not helping.”

“And neither is you little romps with our resident male Bi sexual.” Cube glared. Everyone had worked that one out after a few days of Yo-yo sneaking in an out at strange hours. “I may dislike the guy but shit I’m not so cruel as to stab him in where it hurts.”

“How would he know what we’ve been doing?” Yo-yo asked accusingly. “The only possible way would be that you’ve bloody told him and that wouldn’t happen as he won’t listen to anything you say.”

“If he didn’t he might now.” Corn said quietly. “You guys forget his room is right next door to this open common room and you all have the volume control of blasted parrots. Though I have a lot of doubts to that too; he’s not responding to us knocking on the door, rattling the knob and even shouting into the high bedroom window. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard him singing in there, so I can safely say he’s tuning us all out with his headphones.”

Soda let out a deep breath. “Don’t worry; I’m sure he’s fine. Look, it a really hot day so why don’t we all just go to the pool or something and leave him alone? I’m sure if it’s hot enough he’ll venture out of there when we’re away. What’s the harm? If he singing in there it means he’s still alive and hasn’t killed himself or anything else stupid.” This answer sounded satisfactory. They all could agree with that.

A silence fell across the garage that evening. Beat opened the door and stepped out of the room. Just long enough for a shower, he thought to himself. He knew he should also shave; the peach fuzz a little on the uncontrolled side. Passing his reflection in a bit of glass he decided to stick to a basic trim and tidy it up a little. Changing his look may not be a bad thing for a little while and may certainly make him feel a little better. What was the one that Robert Downy Jr had for that superhero movie? Maybe he could try it for a while till the upkeep of it became a hassle and he shaved it clean. “Bugger it, I’ll just damn do it.” He murmured. “It’s not like anyone found me attractive without one so it won’t matter.”

He took his time, enjoying the blissful quiet that had filled the garage. Maybe he might read in the main room for a while till they came back. The idea sounded nice in theory.

He finished up, and checked out the new trim and smiled. Ok so Robert Downy wasn’t a redhead, but it did look rather fetching. He grabbed a book from his room, one of H.P Lovecraft tales and tossed it on one of the chairs. He vaguely remembered the others trying to bribe him out of his room with imported beers and wasn’t disappointed in finding several six packs of the strongest beers they could get their hands on, adding to the happiness, a brand he recognised and hadn’t seen since coming to japan. He grabbed a few, flopped himself onto the couch, opened one, lit a smoke and started to read.

Several hours had passed. Beat was a little too engrossed in his book by now to pay attention to someone entering the garage. After drinking four full slabs of six on such a hot afternoon, he wasn’t really going to going anywhere in a hurry and wasn’t really going to care if anyone started to talk trash. The beauty of drinking a great beer, smoking a ripper cigg and reading a brilliant book made everything else seem insignificant.

Yo-yo had come back on his own and was surprised to find Beat still sitting in the room. He sat down in a chair off to his side and realised Beat wasn’t paying him any attention. The lack of care factor was more obvious until Yo-yo saw all the beer cans sitting on the stub of a coffee table in the middle. His eyes fell upon them as they were actually very neatly stacked in a long wall across the middle of the table. Beat had been having his own little eventful afternoon. He decided to chance it.

“Good book?” He asked.

“Mmmmhmmm..” Beat nodded. “Classic horror, some of the best ever written.” Beat put in a book mark and closed it. “Not too many short stories in it to go before I can start Eldritch tales.”

“How do you pronounce that one? I’m sorry but my English is terrible.”

“This one? It’s the Necrocromicon.”  Beat hesitated. “I think that’s how you pronounce it. Americans say things so different, and it’s not the easiest thing to say after I’ve been drinking a few.” Beat put his smoke out. “I shouldn’t have drunk so much, I’m surprised at myself. I lost track or how many I can really handle after not drinking for some time.” He yawned.

“Well you can keep drinking if you like, “Yo-yo said slyly. “The others won’t be back for a few more hours. They’re living it up at the pool and will mostly likely be there till it closes at eleven.” The thought of getting Beat drunker than he was had been an area of thought Yo-yo had never actually considered taking before. Drunks could be unpredictable at the worst of times, but they can also be persuaded into doing things as they don’t have anything to prevent them from thinking rationally. A lot of people tend to lose their virginity while drunk too, and Yo-yo was finding this a very interesting prospect indeed. “Why don’t we drink together? Drinking with a mate is better than on your own right?”

Beat gave a sloshed shrug. “Sure. Hey want to make a wager?”

“Sure, what sort?”

“I bet I can drink you under the table. Fair call, I can hold my liquor pretty well, but I’m already pretty drunk before we start, which gives you an advantage.” Beat smiled playfully.

Oh you poor innocent bastard, Yo-yo thought to himself. You’re falling right into my lap. “Alright sure, I’ll take that bet.” Yo-yo got up and came back from the fridge with two more slabs in tow. He tossed Beat a can and sat down with his own. “You ready?”

“You better believe it. You forget I come from a country where you’re practically raised on it.”

“Alright… GO!”

Both of them began to scull the cans. Yo-yo had to restart a few times; the beer was so bitter and cold. Beat had already cleared two can before he even got through the one, and had added them to the stack. The thought of himself actually losing to the redhead never really crossed his mind, but after his second drink was downed, the possibility was becoming more and more clear.

Yo-yo started on his second drink, missed the scull and winded up with half his drink down his shirt. He made it look like an accident, as drinking too much will affect his plans, especially if Beat got him drunker than what he was already. The beer was nothing like the other stuff they usually drink, it was stronger, bitterer and Yo-yo knew there was no way he was going to be able to hold it. He was pretty impressed how relaxed Beat was with him while under the influence, he had not seen the red head this happy and carefree since he first joined the GG’s and there was something really sinister in what Yo-yo had planned that started to make him feel guilty about what he was about to do. It was so easy to forget how friendly and charming Beat could really be when he wanted to when he let his defences down. He had been hurt once too many and that was why he was so hard to penetrate, it was like an emotional shield that protected him from the outside world and didn’t allow anyone to look inside. He was not a kid by far, but the free thinking spirit that lurked under it all was something Yo-yo desperately wanted to get at and hopefully possess it, without breaking it. That was the challenge in a person like Beat, the joy of the innocent kill but with the intention of forcing it to flower. It could go either way and he was willing to chance it. There was a thrill in it and Yo-yo was curious as to why so few would try.

Beat had stopped drinking and was laughing at him. It was a deep chuckle, but was mischievous and playful. Yo-yo was slowly discovering the way he might be able to accomplish his little achievement. Yo-yo tried drinking it again and intentionally swallowed it the wrong way, coughing up some and letting beer run out of his nose.

“Shit Yo, you’re really bad at this.” Beat stood up and sat beside him patting him on the back till he stopped gaffing. It was sympathetic but Yo-yo could hear Beat sniggering.

Gotchya….

“Ergh, I think I need a towel.” Yo-yo frowned. Beat patted him and ruffled his hair.

“It’s alright, I’ll go grab you one.” Beat stood up, stumbling slightly and ventured for his room, holding is arm out to help him navigate around the door frame. He was fine when sitting down, but now he was moving, the intoxication was far more noticeable. Yo-yo knew he had to move fast as he was running out of time. He got up and followed Beat into his room closing the door behind him. Beat turned around, and Yo-yo pounced, pushing Beat heavily back onto the bed pinning him there with is body weight.

“Hey, what’s the big idea Yo? You can’t be drunk after so little can you?” the sudden knock off balance had made everything swirl for a few moments.

“No not as much as you at any rate.” Yo-yo grinned one of his killer smiles. He pinned Beat’s arms to the sheets with little resistance and forced his lips against the red heads. Beat tried jinking around, to loose Yo-yo off him, but the effects of the beer had affected him too much to put up much of a fight, so he did the next best thing, bit Yo-yo hard on the bottom lip.

“Ow!” Yo-yo shouted pulling back but firmly holding Beat in place.

“What the hell you think you’re doing?”

“What’s it look like? I’m going to make you play another little game.” Yo-yo tried to purr, but was losing patience with Beat. The guy under him tried to move but Yo-yo bounced his weight onto him hard, making sure Beat felt pain all through his chest and temporarily stop struggling. “Now now, No one likes it when you can’t play nicely.” He laughed. “You’re a frightened big rat at the mercy of such a tiny little cat. I shouldn’t worry, I don’t want to hurt you, unless I have to.” He dug one of his knees into Beat’s shallow rib cage. “If you play my way, then you might find you enjoy it.”

“Get…get off me…” Beat tried to move his arms, but failed to get the smaller boy to release his grip. His heart was pounding sending all the alcohol zooming around his bloodstream, making him weaker and less aware of what was happening. Yo-yo shifted more weight into the knee in Beat’s chest, and he couldn’t help but whimper in pain. Truth be told, Beat didn’t have much muscle to shield his bones from a great amount of damage, it wouldn’t take Yo-yo too much to break a few ribs as Beat was only just starting to recover from an eating disorder for the second time. He let out another yelp as Yo-yo re shifted his weight again. The sound didn’t go unnoticed, as under the bed sheets at the foot end there was a low growl that belonged to a set of jaws that could easily maul a fully grown chicken. Yo-yo looked up just as Pots leapt out from under the sheets and sunk his teeth into Yo-yo’s arm. Yo-yo fully jerked back and dragged himself and the dog off Beat and the bed, the bull dog letting go and savagely going for his legs. Yo-yo kicked back, one foot hitting the dog squarely across the head and another in the stomach causing Pots to let out a distressing bark not just from the impact but from hitting the wall with some force. Yo-yo was scared and bleeding, blurred without thinking, kicked Pots until the dog stopped moving. Beat had shoved Yo-yo against a wall and punched him in the face, and before Beat could regain any balance, Yo-yo hit him hard with a book he grabbed before escaping the room and slamming the door, holding it tight on the other side while Beat banged and swore at him in a language he didn’t quite understand. Yo-yo was extremely terrified and ran for the bathroom for some medical supplies when the banging stopped.

 

Eventually the other GG’s had come back and saw Yo-yo trying to stop the bleeding on the couch. Ryth was quick to his side to help him. “What the hell happened to you Yo?”

“Dog attacked me on the way here, that’s all.” He lied. “I took a short cut that I wasn’t supposed to take and forgot they now had dogs patrolling the grounds.”

“Where’s Beat? Why isn’t he out here helping you?” Corn demanded.

“I tried knocking, but he just didn’t respond. So I thought I’d at least try and stop the bleeding myself.” Another flat out lie, but with the state he was in, anything he said would be taken as truth and fact.

“Right I’ve just about had enough of…” Corn’s voice wavered when he already spotted Soda trying to open the door to Beats’s room. One good shove and the door gave way.

Soda walked in and saw Beat had his back to him, and before he started shouting, noticed there was blood on the walls near the floor and quite a lot infront of Beat. Soda was quick to slam the door before the others started to barge in and jam a chair securely under the knob. He moved over to Beat carefully and walked around. He didn’t believe what he saw.

Corn banged on the door on the outside a few times. “Hey what’s going on in there Soda? What’s the big idea?!”

“It’s alright Corn.” He shouted back. “I’m just sorting this out. Go help Yo-yo with his bite wound ok?” he didn’t wait for an answer, as He knelt down and held Beat close to him, trying to hide the red heads loud uncontrollable cries. He was holding onto something wrapped in a shirt rather tightly in his arms, blood seeping through the cotton in small patches. There was a stumpy furry leg poking out the other side. Soda’s heart just broke, making him wrap his arms around the shaking Beat even tighter.

“You can’t stay here any longer Ryan.” Soda whispered. “When you said things where bad I only thought about the worst, but I didn’t realise it was this awful.” He rubbed Beat’s back in an effort to calm him down, the smell of beer was prevalent under all the typical smoke smell of Beat’s room, and it did not take Soda much imagination to draw a picture and then discard a lot of it onto the floor. Yo-yo had become a slimy little bugger over the last two years and it was no surprise to Soda that he’d try a stunt that would end up a disaster for the both of them. It was a shame, as he’d usually trust him with his life, but you’d be stupid to trust him around your single friends. Even Clutch, who had tried the same thing on girls in bars wasn’t that bad. At least he’d give up after losing most of the girls to Garam in any case, knowing to quit while he was ahead. “I don’t care if you don’t want to go away for the last week before you can have a room at our place, but I’m going to make you go anyway. This isn’t fair and shouldn’t be happening. I’m so sorry I didn’t just say so sooner.” Over the sobbing, he could hear everything being said in the other room and could hear all of Yo-yo’s lies being taken seriously. Usually Soda wouldn’t have stood for it and would have stormed back in there, trying to make sure they got the full story, but this time the full story was going to not only upset them all out there with the loss of the dog, there was no way they’d want to believe the dog attacked Yo-yo unless he came clean about why he was provoked. That would just open a can of worms and Beat wouldn’t last any of it. Soda knew he mate had been pushed too far this time and was already hurting badly from all the mental anguish. It wouldn’t be too long before it got to physical self-torture and no one as far as Soda was concerned deserved that. Soda groaned at how little privacy there was in this place and how much he didn’t miss any of it. He and Beat used to share the same room, which was a little bit bigger than the current one and both of them spent a lot of time listening to music or sitting awake playing cards and just talking while the noises from either side of the room prevented them from getting any sleep. In a small way Soda missed the conversations they did have, laughing about the others being arses and the way they tried to hang shit on them for sharing the same room. It did bother them a little that the others were just jerks, but being able to let off steam and laugh about it with the other person who was getting the same rap as you were meant a great deal. With Soda gone, Beat no longer had that freedom to joke about how stupid some of it sounded. After a while he started to believe a lot of it, as there was no one to talk to about it. However silly that may have sounded, it was a normal thing that happens when you can’t express your grievances. Beat had at least calmed down though; drifting into a drunken sleep state and Soda conceded that he’d have to help him burry the bull dog in the early morning when the rest where still well and truly out of the picture.

Soda could hear some thumping around in the sleeping quarters next door. There were a few loud bangs against the wall before Garam’s voice, slightly muffled shouted; “You know you have no friends here anymore. Who’s got any pity left for an absolute bastard who won’t help someone when they’ve been mauled by a fucking dog? You know what? I hope you fucking rot in there, hell do us all a favour and do yourself in because let’s face it, who’d want anything to do with a waste of space like you after doing that to your fellow gang member?” there was more banging on the wall, louder this time. “Do you hear me you pathetic piece of shit? Do ya?”

“Fuck.” Soda muttered quietly as Beat began to stir.

“It’s every night….” He mumbled sleepily. “He’ll only stop if it’s a hooker in the room with him…. An even then he makes as much noise as possible….” Beat held onto Pots’ little body tighter like it was something secure to hold onto. Soda guessed the dog slept in here a lot when he was alive not just for the convenience of it being the closest room to going outside, but a place where he was hugged tight every night by a person so afraid that one of these days someone was going to enter the room and kill them in their sleep. Soda knew if he had to put up with this all the time he’d be absolutely terrified too.

The banging continued and Garam started to get nastier. This wasn’t a room, it was a cell in a crazy house. Soda had had enough. He stood up for a moment and thudded all his weight against the wall. The thumping stopped.

“Oh, what’s a matter? Trying to put a hole in the wall to get me? You do realise that you’d only injure yourself, and once your hand is though I’m be able to grab your hand and smash every little bone in it with a hammer.”

Soda thumped the wall harder. “KNOCK IT OFF, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKWAD!” His voice boomed, making sure that everyone heard it through the thin walls. “How’d you like it if I threatened you every fucking damn night? I bet you’d wall yourself in that pissy little room of yours too just waiting for the day when I kick that door down and bash you with a bat or something. Do you think that would be fair? I certainly don’t and I believe others have the right to feel the same too.” He looked back to Beat who had dragged himself along the floor with his back on the other wall, making Soda think of a small terrified child who was watching one of his parents bash another, without the visualisation of physical violence. He could see how much damage this had on his friend’s psyche and realised he was now adding to it. He paused, took a deep breath and spoke again a lot calmer than before, bearing in mind the situation. “Sorry, are you alright? I didn’t mean to, it’s just he’s such an arsehole and needs to be told where to shove himself.”

“I must say… I’m impressed.” Beat showed a weak smile. “I’ve never... seen you so mad and I’m a little scared of… you. Too bad I’ve… got such a hangover to appreciate it.”

Soda sighed. “Come on Ryan, Let’s give Pots a proper resting place while they’re all too afraid to leave their rooms and stuff the rental shit for the night, You’re staying at ours and I’m not taking no for an answer. This place is toxic and I’m going to have some serious words with the others and have some specific ones to Corn. It shouldn’t be happening.”

There was a light tapping on the door, both of them exchanging glances. Soda moved slowly to the door, blocking the view of the inside when he opened it a fraction. Ryth was standing on the other side, tears streaking her face. Soda knew she’d been defending Beat and himself earlier when he could hear Yo-yo spin his little web of lies, but was unaware how much some of the things that had been said had hurt her too. Unlike Beat whom years of this sort of thing would eventually lead to a massive cave in, Ryth didn’t need too much to have her in tears, just saying things about her friends was enough. Beat had already stood up behind him and held the dog in his arms properly so that Ryth couldn’t see exactly what he was holding.

“I could hear Garam from the walls on the other side,” She sniffed. “When I heard to shout I thought something bad had happened and had to find out if everything was ok. I’ve been so worried I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“You can come with us…” Beat murmured, pushing open the door a little way open. Ryth’s eyes opened wide when she saw the blood smeared down his shirt and the bloody bundle in his arms. Soda jumped in before she yelled out anything.

“Pots got hit by a car.” Soda said quickly and quietly. “That’s why Beat didn’t help Yo-yo, he was worried about what everyone would say about the dog.” It sounded lame, but at least it was believable enough to pass for a few moments. Ryth looked at Beat and you could easily read his face that Soda was lying, but she didn’t press the point. For Soda to lie there had to be a good reason for it. She nodded and followed the both of them quietly out of the garage.

 

Back at Sodas, Soda’s wife brought out another round of hot drinks and set them on the coffee table. Soda promised to fill her in a bit later, but to promise to not mention anything about animals. Ryth had been very talkative since arriving, but had avoided anything to do with the others back at the garage. Beat had originally sat beside her, but as the night wore into the morning he had dozed off, Ryth laying him out on her lap and occasionally ran her fingers through his hair. At that point, Soda told them what he thought had happened, while he was still unsure of a lot of things, Ryth side filled in plenty of the other details.

“I didn’t realise it was so bad and it was happening right under our noses.” Ryth didn’t look up, instead brushing some more of Beat’s hair. “But what can we do? Yo-yo’s already got them bought and sold on the whole dog attack idea, if we go back and say that it was Pots and try to explain they’re going to bloody linch Ry wither the answer is true or not.”

Soda rubbed his brow. “I know, I know. We can’t let this go on forever neither. Either their going to hurt him or he’s going to hurt himself and I don’t want either of those to happen. What happened to all of us that we’d get so awful to each other Ryth?”

Soda’s wife, who had been sitting there quietly listening, spoke. “It sounds like you are all crammed in such a small space without too much room to move around freely and everyone’s is everyone else’s business.” She sipped her tea. “That’s not ideal for anyone, an emotional hothouse situation. Even people in small work places suffer from it from time to time. That’s what holidays away are designed for.” She looked at Ryth. “Has any of you actually gone away and come back at any point to take a break from each other?”

“No not really. We do go out places to change the scenery and that does help, but I don’t think Ry ever does. Do you think it would help?”

“Well I have suggested it, dear.” Soda admitted. “I can’t force people to take an offer to drop everything and walk away.”

“Really? I thought everyone would jump at the chance for the opportunity?” she looked at her husband questionless. “Then we have a serious problem when it gets to that stage. Even serious business men and woman will drop everything the second you offered them a chance of escape from their routines.”

“Ryan’s not like that. He’s too nice and would pass up things like that. That ski holiday present he gave you guys for your wedding, he worked his arse of at some tacky delivery job for several months for that and they treated him like he was worth less than a sack of potatoes. Sure in the end he got fired, but he’d say all the work was worth it to see you guys be happy.”

“Then that needs to change. Ryota sweetie, you’d be so kind as to grab a few of his things to take with him to Okinawa? Whether he wants to or not, I’ll get my brother to come pick him up himself and drive him down there tomorrow afternoon for a few days. Would you like to go as well Ryth? The offer we got was for two after all.”

“Uh I would, but that’d leave poor Jazz behind, and I can’t really do that. I did promise her a few trips to the movies though.”

“Fair enough. I don’t suppose there’s anyone else who’d like to go just to make sure he’s alright down there? What about that blonde fellow you all introduced me too?”

Ryth and Soda exchanged looks. “Could you excuse us dear? I need to talk to Ryth a moment.” Soda stood up and waited for Ryth at the kitchen door. Ryth was careful about moving Beat off her lap, when he didn’t wake up she breathed out a sigh of relief and followed Soda into the other room.

“Why couldn’t you just say yes? She knows that Ryan has feelings for Yasu and after everything, she’d try and set them up together!” Soda hissed. He knew his wife too well when it came to trying to pair random strangers off.

“I don’t see why not? He’s been worried about Ry this whole time, ok sure he hasn’t been entirely happy with him either, but I’m sure if we just tell him it’s for a good reason he’ll go.”

Soda looked shocked. “Are you out of your mind? You are aware he’s been Yo-yo’s little play toy right?”

“He is?” this was news to Ryth. “How come no one told me?!”

“Please how could you not? I haven’t been around for ages and I could see that without having to be told.”

Ryth folded her arms. “Some of us don’t meddle in other’s affairs you know. I have my own problems too, with Cube especially. She has been so awful and I’m trying really hard no to loose Jazz because she is starting to believe in some of the stupid things she spouts.” Ryth sighed. “It’s hard to help friends out who are in distress when the person you have feelings for is in a state that’s pretty awful too.”

“I’m rather sorry Ryth, I wasn’t aware.”

“Don’t be silly. If it was anyone else’s business I’d have told them so wouldn’t I? Sometimes you have to try and do what you can.” She sighed. “I should have seen it coming. Yasu was a little confused in himself and without Ry being brave enough to step in and stop him floundering around, Yo-yo would have moved in so swiftly we wouldn’t have spotted it. I still don’t know why Beat would be so strange after one little kiss... but since you mentioned that he had feelings for him… I think I can understand why.”

“Hm… Ryan didn’t say anything to me about kissing the other idiot. Now everything he told me the other day makes damn sense… oh and I worked out the whole Yo-yo thing for myself, but Ryan didn’t deny it either. I knew long before the other night when I saw him sneaking around before I left. That part just confirmed it.” Soda didn’t acknowledge Yo-yo by his real name, as far as he was concerned, the sneaky little git didn’t deserve it. “Fuck, how the hell does he get into these complicated messes?”

“It’s not always his fault. He just has rotten luck, and we both know that.” Ryth sighed. “How about asking Yasu while you’re down there getting Ry’s stuff? You never know, Kaoru might just be using him and manipulating him to get what he wants. It’s easy to do to a person who’s just ventured into un familiar territory when it comes to finding out about themselves… you only have to say you’ll ‘help them discover themselves’ and it’s all over red rover for any other rational thinking as they think they’re being helped without knowing any better.”

“You maybe right Ryth.” Soda agreed. “I’ll find out in any case. I’m going to have a few words with all of them regardless. Just keep him here alright?”

“I will. Bring Jazz back with you too please, I think I have somewhere we might be able to go spend the whole day at. I May not be able to stay with Ry for a whole week, but there’s a festival in Okinawa that I’d love to take Jazz to.”

“Uh, give me a sec,” Soda stuck he head into back into the living room, his wife was busying herself covering Beat with a blanket. “Kodachi, Can I squeeze another two people on that holiday? Ryth and her lovely lady where thinking of seeing the festival down there and it’d be a shame to only go down for the day.” Ryth slapped him.

“What are you doing? I said that we’d organise ourselves with our own plans!”

“I don’t see why the four of you can’t go. All we need to do is pool in for another room. Besides, you won’t have anyone to get in the way of you and Jazz with any stupid comments. How about it?.”

“GRR Ryota you’re impossible!” Ryth raised her voice.

“Shh.” Kodachi hushed them into silence. “It’s possible. I’ll give my brother a call. For the moment the tourist season is very quiet and he’d love to at least have people around the place to make the small hotel a little lively. The more the merrier, you’re always welcome.”

Ryth rolled her eyes. “Alright you both win, Just let me give Jazz a call first ok?” Ryth walked back into the kitchen and Kodachi winked at her husband. Soda just flashed her a smile in the way couples do when they know that some friends they know who need some time away are finally getting what they deserve. Ryth called back, “But I’m not going to keep an eye on the guys you understand, they can sort themselves out.”

 

The taxi ride down to Okinawa was a little uneventful until the views of the beach came into view. All four city slickers stared out the windows in share awe at the beautiful sandy shores and the glittering ocean water under the sun.

“It’s so beautiful.” Jazz commented

“I feel naked without all the buildings.” Ryth laughed.

“It’s been years since I went surfing.” Beat watched as they drove past one of the beachers closer to the road. He sat up in his seat when he noticed there where people in the sun with the odd tattoo on them. “Oh wow…Hey! Maybe I’ll finally be able to actually swim! It doesn’t look like they enforce that Tattoo ban here!”

“You surf?” Jazz asked.

“Well no, but I have tried it before. I was really good with a boogie board when I was a kid.” Beat smiled. “Man that was years ago. Knowing that I’ll have to relearn to swim.” He laughed. Ryth could see both he and Jazz had relaxed a lot since leaving the city streets. She had almost forgot without Beat’s help, Jazz and her wouldn’t have been possible, the girl afraid of coming out after seeing the amount of flack that Beat took from the others. The fact that up until now, he never let it bother him was something that was a tiny bit inspiring for Jazz as she always felt like she was wrong to be herself.

“See what you do is basically paddle yourself out there into the open making yourself look like potential shark bait, then you ride the wave with your body pressed to the board.” Jazz laughed aloud as Beat moved his hands around to indicate paddling, “The trick is to throw your weight and the flimsy bit of foam you call a body board around to face the right way to ride the waves back to the shore, failing that you just get smothered by the board as the waves pull it up from under you.”

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Corn sounded concerned. “What if the board hit you in the head as you went under?”

Beat chuckled. “That’s the whole point. It’s no more dangerous that the other stuff we do back in the city.” He paused, “Ok, sure there are sharks, jellyfish, sting rays, rocks and rip currents, but it’s a heck of a lot safer than leaping from building to building in roller skates.”

“Touché’.” Corn smiled. Ryth did also inwardly. Before leaving Soda had a small chat to her about what he spoke about with Corn. He hadn’t mentioned he knew about Yo-yo or the rest of it, just told him that Pots had died and Beat was a bit of a mess over it and used that as the excuse for not helping Yo-yo. He’d been told specifically to be nice and had told him all about the whole Garam thing. This had been the first thing Corn had actually said since leaving, up till this juncture Ryth had been worried that there was going to be tension between the two of them the whole trip. She was impressed Beat was being rather friendly; she knew the guy would just be happy to put it all aside just to have fun and deal with it all later when it mattered. He was such a naive and innocent person at times; you’d forget how quick it was for him to put the shields up to hide it.

Jazz had been thinking, there were some things on her mind, and she wasn’t sure how to say them. She herself has squeezed inbetween both of the guys in the backseat of the car. She didn’t know what Ryth knew, but she had this knack of seeing things in the air that most others could not.

“Hey, Ryan…” She looked out the window on Beat’s side and then at him directly, “How come you didn’t shout back at Garam the other night? Even we heard that and we were upset that he had gone too far. And the other time with Cube, you could see you were really mad and yet… you were so calm to a certain point.. I was really hoping you’d have hit her or something.” her voice trailed. “What I wanted to know, how do you deal with all of that? Cube’s been getting really nasty to us too and I was wondering if you had any sort of advice as to, you know, ignoring it.”

The atmosphere in the car had altered. Three sets of ears excluding the driver where all poised for the answer.

“Ah, good question.” Beat said, actually thinking about it without thinking about the emotional side of it. “I don’t ignore it exactly; I more or less tune it out. I should do something about it, but so far I haven’t thought of a good way to go about it and the usual leave it alone method and it will go away style of thinking doesn’t seem to be working or getting through.” He smiled. “I just know that as long as they don’t get to me its fine and they’re just proving how stupid they are by spouting nonsense. It doesn’t matter who you are, gender and race is irrelevant as long as you love someone and they love you back. I don’t know what to do about Cube though, I don’t hit girls, even if they’re being ridiculous and childish, I mostly likely would have broken something that was in reach. That girl will always try it on when you’re not expecting it and you’re already showing signs of being hurt over something no matter what it is. She’s just an awful person. As long as you think yourself better than she is by just letting her show herself up as the idiot she is I don’t see why you need to worry. I know I don’t have that many friends these days as I used to, but people start to realise that there’s some people who are worth sticking their necks out for and others who you should just walk away from. Not all of us pick the right people, as it’s not an easy thing to do to sort the nice from the stupid.”

He sighed and laughed it off. “I don’t honestly know all the answers Jazz. This past week or so has been pretty awful and let’s face it; I haven’t been too co-operative neither. It’s hard to let someone in to tell them everything that’s wrong as well the last thing you want it to upset them or have them walk away from you when you are drowning out there in the empty ocean. You don’t want them to get close incase they hurt you, and you don’t want to burden them. The truth is, you need to tell someone these things, reach out to anyone who’s got their hand out to pull you out of the suffocating void. You never know how big a help they can be.” He put his arm around her and gave her a playful shake. “Anyway why worry right now? We are as of now, MILES away Love, free to do whatever we damn feel like for a whole seven days. Yeah sure, it’s not a long time but if you don’t make the best of it you’ll never know right?” he removed his arm and looked back out the window. “Did anyone ask if this place had a hot tub?” he asked innocently.

“No, we really should have.” Jazz laughed at how random the question had been.

Corn caught Ryth’s watchful eyes in the mirrors from the front seat. She had been concerned about both of them and was a little relived that she didn’t have to worry as much as she thought she would. If only Beat would take his own damn advice from time to time he wouldn’t get himself in such tight spots.

“Hey, isn’t that the place?” Jazz almost climbed on top of Corn’s lap just to get a better view out his side of the car. Beat had wound the window down and had clambered so he was sitting through the window. The smell of the sea and the salt in the wind whipped his face but he didn’t care. It was a familiar smell, one that he used to associate with birthday and Christmas parties in the summer and the odd New Years Eve hangover during the schoolies weekends, clothes and hair full of sand that took weeks to get rid of. It wasn’t Bell’s Beach, but it was still bringing back some good memories. Just sitting where he was watching it all fly past brought memories of himself and some old school friends hitching a ride from out bush all the way down to Rosebud and places like the Great Ocean Road listening to whatever music the random stranger had blaring out of his stereo, usually something like Guns and Roses or AC/DC or other classic hard rock. The sun was pooling itself through the sky into sunset as the endless battle for the colours faded into the night, the mixture was more beautiful than any kind of metallic spray paint. It was pure bliss and the feeling of happiness was incredible something he hadn’t felt since he had started living in Japan, always in the city and being pushed around, this was the freedom he was craving for.

The other’s looked up when they heard his voice singing along to nothing in particular. It was something that none of them had heard before, and sung in a language they knew was his mother tongue but had never actually heard him speak before. Ryth had learned English at school and for Jazz it was her third language, but Corn had no clue. Languages where not Corn’s speciality at school, being more into the creative arts and even he was entranced. Eventually the singing stopped, but Beat remained out the window until the car came to a halt infront of a small seaside hotel. Corn was first out of the car and helped out Jazz from the centre, looking up to see Beat resting on his arms on the roof of the car. He had a look to him Corn had never seen before and it made him feel so guilty for looking. He blushed and it didn’t go unnoticed.

 Ryth gave him a nudge. “You do know it’s rude to stare don’t you?” she whispered. She turned to the hotel. “I was thinking along the lines of five star luxury the way Soda had talked up this place.” She didn’t seem too impressed.

“Nah, it’s more like those tourist traps that are supposed to look like it blends with the locality,” Jazz added. “I bet it’s not half bad inside.”

“It’s perfect.” Beat mumbled. “Just like home.”

“Really?” Ryth gave him a dirty look. “I thought you were completely a city boy?”

“Not really, no. The city used to be a day trip for me. It took a little while to get used to it when I first arrived here, changing schools was the big issues at the time that overwrote everything else. There’s days I miss being so close to the countryside but I really honestly miss being out bush amongst the trees.” He closed his eyes as if he was thinking about some long lost memory. “Taking a big sketchbook and a back pack and go off roaming around off track and finding some beautiful places and things to draw were a lot of fun. Just you and the bush. Just not in summer though, you’d be an idiot to do that then, bushfires tear through so fast you’d be long dead before anyone knew you were missing.” He pulled his legs through the window so he was now standing beside the car, leaning back on it staring off towards the ocean. “Days like that you’d bum a ride to the beach on the other side of the city, and usually you and a few mates would hop into the back of some stranger’s ute with his big arsed dog that drooled all over you and then at the end of the day hope like hell you got a free ride home trying the same hitching technique otherwise you’d be sleeping on the sand under the stars.” He snorted and stood up. “I honestly forgot how many times I’d done that too. Getting sand out of your pants after sleeping on the beach and walking for about five to six kilometres down the freeway was absolutely awful.”

Ryth patted him on the arm. “Come on, let’s grab our stuff and go inside. I’m interested in the sleeping arrangements. I’m so tired after such a long drive.”

Corn unloaded a few backpacks with their gear and they all grabbed their respective bags. Beat paused to look back at the beach again before ducking in the hotel doorway behind them. The manager was friendly and gave them two keys for two rooms down the hall from one another and led them upstairs. The inside was tacky as far as Ryth and Corn where concerned, Jazz was finding all the local paraphernalia on the walls fascinating and would stop and ask every few minutes where the things where from and what the stories where behind them which made Corn’s eyes roll and Ryth get a little on the grumpy side. Beat took it all in and just simply blended in with it. Occasionally he’d even answer Jazz’s questions much to the surprise of the hotel manager. When the bloke asked, Beat just shrugged and told him it’s expected to have that stuff in a place like his, and how much it makes it welcoming. The other’s would have killed him if it wasn’t that comment had made the manager very happy and offered them complimentary dinner that night.

The girls took the room closest to the stairs so the boys had to have the one up the farthest end. The room only had a double bed, a couch and a small TV that was bolted to the wall. so much for luxury living Corn grumbled. He noticed Beat was just taking it in his stride so tried to hide his disappointment. Corn was at least hoping for separate beds. He didn’t feel comfortable that they had to share, especially after the things he had been up to with Yo-yo since his kiss with Beat. He couldn’t face him after all of that in such close quarters. His saving grace was Beat dumping his pack infront of the couch and nominating it as his sleeping spot. Corn felt really awful and then wondered if Beat knew, or at the very least, was still uncomfortable around him too.

“Know what, I think I’m going to hit the beach for a walk. Want to join me?” Beat stretched, his shirt rising up enough to show a light trail of fluff leading down into his jeans. Corn swallowed. He had spent a lot of time thinking about that one kiss and what it would be like to have the whole experience, since Yo-yo sorely lacked any passion for their actions behind closed doors unless things stayed physical. This was going to be the most awkward thing he was going to have to go through the entire trip. The other thing was, no one, not even himself had ever seen Beat without any form of clothing. When the showers where out and they GG’s had to go to the public bathhouses, Beat was never with them, Corn assuming he had snuck off somewhere on his own just for privacy and to avoid ridicule, or maybe he didn’t seem it was right a gay bloke in an all-male bathhouse. Whatever the reason the sudden train of though was causing him to get flushes and he knew he had to give Beat an answer.

“You alright Yasu? You didn’t drink much water before, are you sure you’re not too hot or anything?” Beat walked over to him and touched him on the back. Corn jinked a fraction so there was barely any touch.

“I’m fine really, I’m just a little tired, long drive here you know?” Corn fibbed.

“So that’s a no to a walk then?” Beat sounded a little disappointed. He was hoping to clear the air with his old mate a bit before the holiday fully kicked off and thought walking on the warm sand would be a good place to do it. It was going to be the only chance he got to do it this week before going back to that tiny little walled in space before he moved out into Soda’s house a full resident. There was no annoying hate bashers to interfere and there was no lecherous Yo-yo to get underfoot and Ryth promised to give them as much space as they liked, as she and Jazz wanted their alone time too. He rummaged through his pack and grabbed a singlet and a pair of loose board shorts to change into with some thongs, before realising that the room actually had no separate bathroom of it’s own. “AH you have got to be kidding me! I’m not going to walk all the way down the hall just to get changed in a communal bathroom and all the way back!” Beat swore under his breath in a way that made Corn smile a little. It meant Beat wasn’t completely on a nostalgia trip and with the real world. “Oh well, it’s not like we’re girls or anything.” Beat stood up and slipped off his long sleeved shirt, revealing a whole body covered in tattoos. Corn almost fainted then and there. Black ink glided over his frame and Corn couldn’t help but stare with interest. Beat turned his back to him and Corn got full exposure to a beautiful design that graced his spine and embraced his shoulders. He didn’t have time to fully ingest the image as Beat had pulled the singlet top over it just as quickly as he took the other shirt off. Parts of it still came through; the shirt was really loose and clung to areas in the middle of his back and his waist. Flame tattoos still traced up along his arms giving off an impression that Beat was actually a person to be reckoned with. Corn carefully felt around for the bed and sat down and looked away, knowing that if he watched Beat swap his trousers over he was not going to be able to stand. Corn was unsure why this was happening, He had never felt butterflies in his stomach as bad as this before. All this time fantasizing what lay past that kiss left a deep impression on him.

“You know,” he heard Beat say quietly. “I’m glad you came. I’m sorry about how I’ve been the last week or so, I’ve had a lot on my mind. It’s been a bit too much for me of late and I should have been more open about it. And I’m sorry for how I acted that day too. I don’t quite know why I did that. I don’t expect you to forgive me either.” He stood up and walked for the door. “If you change your mind, I’ll be down the beach. Sunsets over the ocean are always beautiful, I love them and all the weird colours the sky gets.” He closed the door behind him. Corn then swore at himself for being such a prick and not going with him, but all the feelings he was having for Beat, were not right. He had a partner… if you could call ‘the arrangement’ any sort of real relationship. So why was he wanting someone else? Was this normal?

Corn waited a few minutes till he was sure Beat had been gone long enough to have left the hotel, before venturing out and knocking on the girl’s room. Ryth opened the door slightly, and Corn realised he was interrupting their alone time. “Uh sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt…”

“It’s fine. Beat met Jazz in the hall and they both went for a walk. It’s a bonus for me as she’ll ask him a lot of questions not only giving him a conversation, but at least answer things that I know I can’t. So, what is it you want?” Ryth yawned.

“Well it’s like this…” Corn hesitated. “Can I come in and tell you all this? I’d rather Jazz and Beat don’t’ suddenly come around the corner and have to hear it.”

“Is this about You and Yo-yo?”

Corn looked at her in horror.

“It’s alright,” Ryth reassured him. “Soda told me.” She didn’t mention that Soda found out from Beat, the fact that he already knew might give Corn the wrong impression. “I also filled Soda in a few minor things he didn’t know and it all made some sense, except for your reliance on Yo-yo.” She surged, “It’s not my business, but we’re a little interested in how he manipulated you. But we have some idea.” She smiled. “And I’m thinking I’m getting another one. This is about sharing a room with Beat isn’t it?”

“Well, yes and no.. I mean..”

Ryth leaned on the door frame. “You have feelings for him that you didn’t expect to right?”

“Look, after the kiss Yo-yo said he’d be able to help me well discover myself…” Corn looked really ashamed. “I guess after Ry ran out on me I didn’t really know what to do. He I mean, that one kiss… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Sure Yo-yo helped me realise that I do like certain stuff and that I do like being well with guys, but he didn’t have the same feeling that the kiss had.” Corn pinched his nose. “I fucked up really bad, and I wasn’t aware I was doing it. Well no, I did, but didn’t it’s hard to explain.” He took a deep breath and exhaled. “Ry just apologised to me, and I feel like it was all wrong, it should be me saying sorry, not the other way around.”

“Ry apologised?” Ryth looked at him question.

“Yeah just before he went for a walk. He said he was sorry for kissing me and leaving me there and how anti-social he’s been.”  Corn rubbed his temples. “I know why, but I can’t understand why he felt he needed to? If anything I deserve that way he’s been ignoring me.”

“Have you actually asked him why?” Ryth asked.

“No, as he wouldn’t tell-”

“Ask him.” Ryth cut him off. “You’ll get nowhere if you do not ask. He might surprise you.”

“HEY GUYS NICE TO SEE YOU UP!” Jazz shouted and waved from the stairwell. “Are you guys coming down dinner? If we hurry, they still have the chief’s special!”

Corn did a double take. Jazz was a bit like Beat when it came to covering up and seeing her with tight singlet top and extremely short shorts was something that paused for comment. Even Ryth was staring, but not for the same reason of surprise Corn was.

“Hey Yasu, Catch!” A bright blue singlet was tossed up the stairs and Corn was hit in the chest by it, before failing to grab it before it hit the floor. Beat peered over the bannister and rested his arms on it, further down the stairs from Jazz. “You missed a good game of Frisbee down at the beach you two, some people invited us to play for a while and it was a total blast. Though I have to admit, I think I’ll be having a shower before we hunker down later; I’m still covered head to toe in sand.” He smiled. Corn could tell he had been running around in the heat, the sweat on his skin making the tattoos all shiny and slick looking. When Beat brushed his hair back Corn went red, the sweat and the sand making his short fringe spike up and look completely different than what he has been used to everyday… infact Corn could have come out with it and say Beat hadn’t looked the same since earlier that afternoon before the taxi ride, the guy was always clean shaven so it came to a surprise to him that Beat could grow quite a decent amount of face fuzz and still look rather attractive. It also made him look a lot older than twenty three, but that could also have to do with the fact he looked very worn out and tired.

“They’re serving something actually edible that’s not fish too, you guys should try it.” And with that said he vanished back down the stairs.

“Wait, did I just hear that correctly?” Ryth looked from Corn to Jazz. “Ry actually said something about ‘trying food’?”

Jazz nodded. “Uh huh, there was something on the menu he spotted when where having a look before. Shepard’s pie or something? Sounds pretty ordinary to me, but he seemed really happy that it wasn’t something like sharkfin soup and some of the other dishes that you find in this area.”

Corn smiled and at least looked like he’d loosened up a little bit. “At least it’s a step forward, I’d be worried if we came all this way and he didn’t eat any of the food.”

At dinner, Beat was really woofing down food like the world was going to end. Corn and Ryth watched with surprise, and Jazz was swapping food around, trying a little bit of everything that everyone else had. They couldn’t believe what they were seeing, and wondered if it actually had to do with the food itself or his current happy mood.

“So anyway we saw they have a surfboard and boogie board rental here as well,” Beat said excitedly during the odd pauses to pinch something like a tomato off Jazz’s plate as payback for stealing some of his potato wedges. “And I was thinking that maybe we’d have a look into hiring some of those?  They also have parasailing and jet skiis here, those would be such a blast, don’t you think so?” He stopped when he realised Ryth and Corns stares. “Uh you guys going to eat any of that?” he asked pointing at their food, Ryth choosing to try the pie and fries like Beat had and Corn trying some lamb shanks at Beat’s whole hearted suggestion. “It’s just that you guys are letting some of the most awesome tasting food go to waste.”

Ryth prodded the pie. “What exactly is in this?”

“It’s beef traditionally, but this one is defently a chicken one. I’ve always found it hard pressed to get anything with that much beef in it here.”

“You guys seem to really enjoy this stuff.” Corn tried cutting into the shank and almost sliced off his fingers when he missed on one of the pieces.

Jazz laughed. “It’s not something I’m familiar with from Brazil, but we do have our own equivalents to these and it’s something you do miss when you’ve grown up with eating it.”

“Look I’ll make you a deal, eat this for our sakes tonight and we’ll get something like we usually do tomorrow, how’s about it?” Beat winked. “There’s a Wok-fry-up place in the small town just down the road from here, it’s a short walk, and it’s be good for us out in the fresh air.” He laughed. “I also promise to eat everything we buy ok? I’m just not responsible for food that makes me sick though.”

Back in the room after the big meal, the unsettling uncomfortable tension settled upon the guys again. Beat had not seemed to have minded, he sat himself across the couch and started to read, while not quite enjoying the atmosphere in the room, but just merely taking the chance to have some time to himself. Corn looked up from lounging across the bed and was impressed by the sight Beat had laid out before him unintentionally, making Corn feel hot and flustered. There was never a time he could imagine anything better, wondering why he was feeling this strange feeling of lust for his best friend. It had to all be Yo-yo’s fault and the fact he knew what sex with another guy was like, it had to be.

Beat shuffled his position to get comfortable and Corn had to bite into his hand. After dinner, Beat went off to have a shower, only to come back clad only in a pair of bright green boxers, assumed Corn was asleep the way he had sprawled himself on the bed and just left him there to rest. He wasn’t aware that he was being watched, tuned out to some music in his headphones while flicking over to the next page. Corn was well and truly awake now, even if it was only to perve. Compared to the other GG’s guys and most models Corn had seen in magazines, Beat was one of a kind. Sure he was pretty skinny, but that didn’t mean it was all bone. There was some pretty tight athletic muscle holding the skater together and unlike the build of Garam which was every muscle on display and proudly showing the sections off in his build, Beat’s where that of someone who did a lot of running, rather than a lot of weights. All the main power was down in the thighs and the calves. Beat’s body shape was very different out of clothing too, putting Corn in the mind of a high class martini glass that was always hidden away on a special cabinet for those once off occasions. Unlike Garam who you could tell clearly waxed every inch - which to Corn seemed rather painful and unsexy - and say Soda and Yo-yo who seemed to never grow any sort of hair – and Corn was always pretty certain lower down on Yo-yo the carpet should match the drapes, and couldn’t even think of how you’d go about dying what little hair that was down in that region – Beat was covered in fine blondish-gingery fluff. There was areas where it was thicker, like across his chest and going down under his navel and lower into his boxers, his arms and legs where a variation to each other, legs more so covered than his arms, and his back… there was very little that Corn had been able to see, but after following him back upstairs from behind, he now knew what the tattoo across his back looked like. The overall effect was of exotic beauty of a selective taste and had him wondering why Beat was still single.

That last thought killed the fantasy a little, raising some questions. He began to wonder what sort of person would someone like Beat actually like and that was really hard to answer… that is, if he didn’t factor in how different he’d been acting since putting foot in the taxi on the way to Okinawa. Beat used to act like that all the time until the Golden Rhino’s – a big gang that ruled Tokyo-To with crime waves and corrupt police via control of the local governments – made the mistake of seeing the small gang as the next big gang to take over the whole drugs and other crimes. Truth be told the GG’s never had any of that sort of ambition, they just wanted to rebel against their peers and everything they stood for. They had lured them into a deadly trap which almost got them all killed. They all changed a bit then and when Gum outed Beat for not being straight by mistake things really went downhill. He had not recovered from his injuries and the added damage to his mental state forced some changed that where very harsh and very direct in terms of how he dealt with people. He now had this impenetrable barrier around him when it came to getting to know him and eventually very few of the GG’s wanted to spend any time with him and only did when they were desperate with a problem, as it was the only time you’d find anyone with any sort of compassion, even if it was a little blunt. After backing them all up against the second coming of the Goji clan and the Rhinos which has almost decimated the population of the city – if not most of the outer lying areas – and taking the son down own his own for trying to give him a bad name with their own evil robotic creations, he had almost closed himself in completely from the outside world. The few that cared where always on the lookout for a relapse in everything from physical, mental to even his appetite…till last week, where if it had not been for Soda stepping in that night – Corn could remember the shouting from Soda that rang through the whole garage and the talk that they had had before this trip – Beat may not have lasted the night. Soda had told him after everything he had to hear while in that room, Beat most likely would have killed himself, or at least been killed by someone else within the gang. Soda didn’t tell Corn the exact words that had been exchanged other than the ones he had already heard, but after listening to Soda’s evaluation of his mental state Corn had realised how much he and others had forgotten how fragile the person behind those high defences was. The evening here at the hotel had re-opened his eyes somewhat into what had always been there the whole time, put away behind closed doors just wanting to feel the fresh air of freedom.

Corn was careful when he lay back down, clutching one of the pillows. The thought of all that heavy baggage pretty much answered the question as to why his mate for so many years had stayed single. Well, Corn wondered as of now if Beat really was still his mate anymore…and more of an interesting stranger he had a mad and erratic attraction to? These thoughts swirled around his mind before he dozed off into a very uncomfortable sleep.

Beta yawned and looked up at the room’s little clock that had been ticking away. It was close to four in the morning, he had been so content in his book and his music he hadn’t registered the time. He’d never admit that he was listening to a lot of sappy love songs on a random shuffle to get into the mood of reading another lame yaoi novel he borrowed from Ryth. Well not quite lame, Ryth did have a selective taste in those types of books; she always picked him out ones that were full of romance as opposed to just porn knowing he was finding it hard to get any sort of emotional attachment to anyone on that sort of level. The only problem with being engrossed in that kind of book was it didn’t just bring comfort, but make him feel a little desperate for that same contact that the characters in the story where experiencing. The result was always the same and he knew he should stop doing this to himself over and over. It was like a drug, the feelings associated with it felt right and where in need of being let out now and then. One day, he had sworn he’d give in to know what it’s like to share it with another person, as of now however he would have to make do with playing sinful and just keeping it to himself.

He got up a little unsteady, looked over at Corn who was sleeping, not quite peacefully but at least deep enough for Beat to sneak out unnoticed. He stopped and checked on Corn first gently brushing some of his blonde hair back, his heart racing from the soft strands against his fingers. “There’s so much I want to tell you,” He whispered. “Even if you don’t know it or want me to, I’ll still follow you no matter where you go or what you do, no matter what you think of me.” His heart was pounding, fear was creeping in all over again, he meant every word he said and wasn’t about to let fear make him take it all back.

He headed down the hall for the showers and closed the door behind him, locking himself in a tiny shower and changing stall. He was slow in taking off his boxers and placing them on the poor excuse of a seat in the changer and stepped into the small shower and turned on the warm water and let it rain onto his face and down his naked body. Closing his eyes, he could pretend it was rain coming down from a bush waterfall back home. He ran his hands gently along his own neck and his sides as if someone else’s fingers where lightly tapping along his flesh. In his mind all he could think of was Corn wrapping his arms around him lovingly, breathing softly into his ears and along to his shoulders. The thought of being held in a loving embrace made Beat feel like he was melting against the side of the shower stall. He remembered the kiss, so pure and innocent hunting for answers in an unexplored territory. He breathed out like he was replaying the moment and kissing him again, this time without running away and being kissed back just as willingly. He could dream that his body was pushed up against Corns and pressed up on the other side under the falls against the rock face, the latter now stroking him along the back and the sides with care making his hands trace lower down towards his hips. He breathed heavily and couldn’t help make a few strange noises, biting into his free hands fingers to hide the fact he was getting louder with each sound of pleasure. He gave into temptation and thrusted his spare hand into the shower’s tiled back wall to support himself as his body was barely being able to support him as he continued his little foolish fun. When it was all too much he gave it that one final deep throated purr before being forced onto his knees on the tiles, before his legs gave out from under him. He rested his forehead against the warm tiles on the wall and thumped a hand against it in frustration and annoyance at what he had just been doing. It was all well and good to fantasize what being with someone else was going to be like, but another to have the chance to be able to return the feelings and touch them the same way you wanted to be. You could never do that in a dream no matter how much you wanted it. That was what stung about this whole affair and left small scars in his heart. He would have to tell him soon, otherwise he’d be back where he started. Even if at this point he was rejected, he knew he’d get over it and be able to go back to just being in the background just following along behind like he always had. Everything from the teasing and the other sort of abuse he got would be bearable again; at least he thought it would as he’d have nothing to emotionally make him crumble the invisible walls down ever again. He wouldn’t allow it; he’d happily die a lonely bastard.

Corn awoke to the sounds of sea birds instead of the sounds of heavy traffic. It wasn’t quite the same, and was far from being pleasant. He rolled over and rolled off the double bed. In his sleep, hoping against all hope to have Beat crawl into the bed with him didn’t happen. Looking up, he realised Beat wasn’t even in the room. Did that guy ever sleep? Corn wondered. He yawned and picked himself off the wooden floor and noticed Beat’s stuff was open in front of the couch, a pair of sunnies and his headphones missing, possibly he’d taken them with him. A box of smokes lay casually on the floor still in its wrappers. Corn picked them up and frowned. He never understood why the guy smoked, and why he was into menthols. He could smell them even though they were not opened, the minty scent enticing him to try one. He put them down on the couch and headed for the large window and drew the curtains wide. The sand was practically a luminous glow in the sunrise, the ocean sparkling like thousands of exploding LED lights. There were a few people, runners mostly jogging along the beach, and there was the odd swimmer out there too. He watched for a little while as there was one out there surfing the waves, to Corn it looked like the natural equivalent of the sewer tunnels near Poison Jam’s homebase where Corn liked to spend days just skating tricks off the walls when he needed time to think things out.

“Beautiful isn’t it?”

Corn smiled but didn’t turn around. “Yeah it is.”

“Just went for a run, but I could go for another if you’re up to it before the hotel dishes out breakfast. Did you sleep alright?”

Corn turned around to see Beat pick his smokes from the couch and open the packet. Corn’s heart sank a little when he realised Beat was clean shaven this morning, but perked up when he noticed that Beat had his old green sunglasses and his old headphones resting around his neck. Beat hated that fact that the Goldern Rhinos used his identity for their android gang, making it a point to sort of revert back to his older and quite possibly even tighter clothes that he had sort of outgrew as his way of fighting back as an individual. The old yellow shirt was extremely hugging and Corn couldn’t help but find it sexy. The effect was altered by the baggy shorts, they looked too much like Yo-yo’s but they were bright green with yellow stripes down the seams, something the other guy would never be caught dead in.

Beat lit a smoke and walked over to the window and rested a hand on Corn’s shoulder. “Look, about yesterday, what I meant was, could we start over, back s friends again? I don’t really want us to be here together this whole time feeling like we’re still mad at each other for the last few weeks.”

Corn gave him a smile, brushing Beat’s hand off his shoulder. It wasn’t case of being rude, but if he left the redheads hand sit there any longer he was in serious need to try and find somewhere private to make it all right. “Sure thing. I’d rather that.”

“Wicked.” Beat blew out some smoke and seemed pretty satisfied with the answer. “Hey, you up for some of that later?” he pointed to the surfer they could see out the window.

“Uh sure, but one exception.”

“Oh?”

“You have to teach me, as I don’t want to end up like that.” He indicated to the surfer also, the bloke’s board had zipped out from under him and the guy was swallowed by the tube of water.

“I can’t promise that. That’s supposed to happen a lot.” He laughed. He was rewarded with Corn sticking out his tongue. Beat had never noticed, but there was a silver stud in the middle of it and after a fraction it was gone. He had quite a few piercings of his own, along his left ear, left brow and one in the middle of his lower lip but he’d never been quite game enough to get the more interesting ones like tongue studs or bell button rings or that bar that you could get further down. Just seeing that made his day as now all he was going to be thinking about was how different his little kissing fantasies where going to be. He looked away, trying to hide a sudden flush of embarrassment. He grabbed Corns arm and without looking at him pulled him along, “Come on, get dressed! The sooner we get onto the beach the faster I can show you.” He laughed excitedly. This made Corn feel a little bit enthusiastic too. He didn’t mind having Beat show him things, like back when they met on Beat’s first day as a transfer student to his highschool when he showed him the Bulldog puppy he had found that was abandoned near the grounds, to showing him how to skate on a skate board and to do extreme roller-skating. When the new magnetic in-lines came out, Corn had to show him some of the new cooler things you could do with them, although showing Beat how to hang onto the back of cars in heavy traffic wasn’t one of the best ones, they both nearly got taken out by a bus that day. Gum; his sister giving him an earful for it too. Corn and Gum got out casted for hanging out with an exchange student, but they didn’t care as it was the kind of fun they were looking for. It was dangerous but the thrill made it all worthwhile and as long as the three of them were in it together it didn’t matter how anything went. For Corn, as long as he had his best mate, the world could kiss his arse. Right now, it was like those first few years all over again.

 

“Alright, I got the boards and…” Beat frowned. “What are you doing with that shell?”

Corn had been hunting around the beach while he had waited for Beat to get some boards. He was looking for one of those odd shaped ones you see in all the TV ads and movies. “What’s it look like? I’m listening to the ocean. I overheard it from someone at a pool once saying that you could..”

Beat dropped the boards and grabbed his hand before it made contact with Corn’s ear. A little tubed tongue darted out of the shells mouth and spat, Beat making sure it didn’t hit either of them. Corn threw it into the sea in fright.

“Don’t ever do that; unless you want to be fighting for life in the back of an ambulance.” Beat breathed a sigh of relief. “Those things fire poison darts to paralyse their prey. They’re pretty deadly to people. You wouldn’t last long if that had fired into your eardrum.”

“Does everything at the seaside have to be deadly?” Corn looked worried. Without the city streets, he felt very open and weak indeed.

Beat shrugged. “Why do humans think they know everything just because we can build ugly monstrosities? Don’t answer that. I’m being an arsehole.” He walked back over to the boards and came back with one for Corn. “Don’t look so disappointed, you AT THE BEACH so you don’t NEED to listen to the ocean when you’re already THERE. Here take this board and put it onto the sand, I’m going to run a few steps with you first before we hit the water so you know what you’re supposed to do when you’re out there.” he let go of the board when he was sure Corn had a good grip. Corn imminently buckled under its weight and planted one end of it into the sand. Beat laughed. “I’m sure it’s not that heavy mate, even I can lift it. It’s only fibre glass after all.”

“Says the person who has visible muscles.” Corn mumbled.

“Only in the legs and the brain mate. You need those to be able to know when to split.” He winked. “I’m pretty sure you’re stronger than me.”

“Well how about we find out?” Corn pushed the board down flat and lay on the sand using the board as a table to arm wrestle.

“For serious?” Beat watched Corn nod. “Alright.” He got down onto the sand in the same way Corn had and placed his left arm up to Corn’s and gripped it.

“Ready?” Corn shouted.

“Go!” Beat chimed. The both of them pushed each other with all their might. Beat could feel Corn start to waver and looked him in the eyes. Big mistake. Those pretty blues locked onto his emeralds and Corn’s arm threw Beat’s down against the board, slamming it hard down on the fiberglass.

“Ah shit! That smarts!” Beat leg go and was quick to rub the knuckles that connected with the board. He forgot how bony some parts of him actually where.

“Geez sorry man, didn’t mean to force it that hard.”

“It’s alright, I forget my hands are all bone.” He stretched it so both could see the stringy muscles flex under tight skin, Beat’s fingers where long and thin and Corn pressed his hand against it. Corn’s where slightly thicker and stumpier, but where rock hard to touch and only the veins could be seen as he moved his hand around. Both of them pulled away pretty quickly feeling embarrassed and a little stupid. “You still won fair and square, so there’s no excuse for complaints ok?” He got up and helped Corn up off the sand. “Alright, lay down on the board and make a paddling motion… like this…” Beat showed him a basic stroke. “Then when you get to a wave, even if it’s a small one you do what’s called a ‘pop-up’ where you stand on the board…like this…” Beat helped Corn get into position, and grabbed his legs gently and placed them in the right places. He tried hard not to show how much he was enjoying handling Corn and moving him around into position. It was like exploring without getting too intimate and being able to keep his distance from a dangerous specimen. He’d never actually been this close to Corn before, always being too nervous that Corn would be uncomfortable with the idea his best mate was interested in guys and might be interested in him. At the time, he thought Corn was as straight as a post and would be revolted by the idea of Beat getting too personal with him at any stage, despite the fact Corn knew and did get a bit close on occasion as he was the only person Beat would willingly allow the close distance for. It was sort of the same now, the only difference was Beat was allowed the opportunity to get closer without fear of being pushed way in a lot of hate.

“You’re arms are wrong, you need to hold them out to balance you, otherwise you’ll fall off.” Beat touched Corn’s arms and lifted them and moved them around. He trailed his fingertips along his arms without thinking and was surprised when Corn jerked them inward away from him.

Corn gave a nervous laugh. “Sorry, I’m ticklish.”

Beat couldn’t help but share the awkwardness of the situation. “Uh yeah sorry I wasn’t aware.” Beat gave a cough and then moved over to grab his own rental board, yanking off his t-shirt in the process so his tattooed skin got kissed by the sun. “You got it all pretty much down pat, so how’d about we actually put it into practice?”

Beat walked into the surf a little way till it reached his waist, feeling a bit confident, he turned to give Corn an unusual hand signal that he’d seen surfers in movies do and turn back to the waves, paddling the board out further than the beach. Corn followed a little slowly, unsure if this was really a good idea. He pulled himself onto the board and looked for Beat further along the surf. The redhead had already attempted at catching a wave and was up on the board for a few minutes, till he lost his balance and was thrown off, board flying out from under him. He appeared moments later resurfacing and dragging himself back onto the board, thrusting his arms in the air and yelling his defiance at nature. Being all covered in tattoos and sitting on a board acting like he owned the sea; made him look like he really belonged out there, not in amongst the bustle of the city.

Corn watched him attempt another, this time staying on for a little longer before going over forwards head first into the water. Well, he decided, if Beat can do this he should be able to as well, so he started paddling out to see if he could secure a wave of his own.

Both Beat and his board washed up against the wet sand as the waved crashed down and spat them out. Beat spat out a mouthful of sand. That’s not how it was supposed to have worked. He pulled himself up right and shook clumps of sand from his hair, despite the fact there was so much that wouldn’t budge. He came to the conclusion that while he had eaten a lot of sand before in his life time, there was nothing in the world that would make it taste any better than grit and dirt. He looked around searching for Corn amongst the waves, till he found him closing in on a choice wave. Beat started walking towards the water, watchful, as the wave looked like it was forming a rip current not far from the wave. Corn caught it, fumbled on the board and went up and over straight away. Beat hesitated as the board came up meters away from the rip. When Corn failed to resurface, Beat grabbed his board and was out and into the water faster than he had ever been before. He reached the area of the rip tide and dived in, the tether to the board on his leg making sure he didn’t get lost in the tide. Resurfacing for a breath he went back under, the second resurfacing had him dragging Corn up out of the water and onto the board. He tried to steady the board in the rip, taking the cord off his ankle and tying it to the blondes, before another wave pulled them both and the board under. The current was strong and was pulling them both further out, Beat was relieved when he resurfaced that Corn hadn’t come off the board. The only problem now was that he was being pulled away too quickly to be able to get back to him. He took a breath and dived under, attempting to get under the rip current and swim forward to the board before another wave hit it and knocked Corn back into the water. He managed to come up a lot closer to the board and swam to it, gripping onto it and onto Corn, pushing them as hard as he could back towards the shore. The board had been moved out of the rip tide which made kicking it forward slightly easier but not any less tiring. Upon hitting the shallows he tugged at the strap to untangle it from himself and Corn respectfully before tearing it off and putting Corn down on the sand, checking immediately to see if he was breathing. Beat pushed hard on his chest a few times and breathed air into his lungs. Panic was rising and Beat pushed harder trying to get a response. He tried breathing back into him again and Corn sat up a little and coughed up a lot of sea water as a thank you. Beat embraced him tightly, shaking with fear. There had been times where he had almost lost Corn before but he was never this close to having him die in his arms. He got up, grabbed his shirt and brought it back to wrap the blonde’s shaking body before lifting him up to get him off the beach to the hotel.

Corn woke up looking at the ugly patterns on the ceiling. Whoever did the paintjob of the hotel should have been shot. He thought about rolling off the bed onto the floor till some of the events of the day started to catch up with him. He remembered the board coming out from under him and over; hitting him on the head, causing everything to go black. How he ended back at the hotel was anyone’s guess. He didn’t recall many people on the beach and there weren’t any life guards around in the off seasons….

He could feel some life come back into his body, specifically down the left hand side. Something was clinging to his arm as it hung off the edge of the bed. Turning his head slightly he could just make out someone sitting beside the bed on the floor, holding onto his arm. Rolling over slightly he could see that Beat was holding onto him from down the side. Corn blinked, a little confused. A few pieces fell into place however, as the only reason he had not drowned out there had been sitting watch over him the rest of the day. It never made sense to him why Beat would always do things like this, keeping an eye out for him when most other sane people wouldn’t have, particularly when they were putting themselves in danger to save his hide. Beat never once thought about the consequences, he just wanted to get everyone out of there alive, even if it meant putting his own life on the line to do it. His grip wasn’t tight which made it easy for Corn to pull his arm free, only to notice that Beat didn’t budge or stir in what he assumed was a light doze. The last few days of stress, over excitement and massive lapses in his sleeping patterns had taken their toll. Leaning in Corn could still smell the sea salt from the ocean on Beat’s skin and in his hair, the red head had been too worried about the blonde to leave him until he regained consciousness to even wash the sand off his bare feet. Corn crawled out of the bed and grabbed one of the unused pillows, tossed it on the floor and lowered Beat’s sleeping body down onto the floor properly resting him on the pillow. Corn could see signs of worry streaked in the mixture of sand that still graced his face, and he gently brushed some of the sand out of his eye lashes. Corn ran his fingers through the mattered mess Beat’s hair had dried into, rubbing some of the sand out of the clumps that where still slightly wet in patches. He went to grab the sheet from the couch and dragged it over, covering Beat with it where he lay before whispering a thankyou into his ear. Corn crawled back onto the bed and lay down, this time the wrong way up, dangling his right hand over the edge this time so it rested over Beat’s sleeping shoulders. He felt that he had to make it up to him in some way, the amount of times he had put himself into his mates debt have been countless, and yet highly unrewarded.

When Corn re-awoke the next morning, Beat was no longer in the room again causing Corn to sigh. Just once, could that dofus stay still enough for him to talk to?

 

Beat dumped a heap of clothes in the changing stall and stepped into the cascade of water from the shower. Sand, while the prettiest part of being on the beach and the most essential for the whole sea side experience, was the most uncomfortable thing to sleep covered in and have in thick clumps in your hair. Luckily it wasn’t going to take too long to get it out; there was some advantage to having short hair. He froze when he could here sounds in the shower beside him. There was some whistling and a few muttered curse words about water, sand and the stink of seaweed. This made Beat smile a little as he relaxed. Corn was in the shower beside him.

“How are you feeling?” he said loudly above the torrent of sound.

There were a few minutes before there was a reply. “Oh Ryan? I didn’t realise you were in the showers already. I thought you were down on the beach again.”

“Nah. I think I have had enough of sand and surf for one day.”

“Thankyou, by the way for yesterday. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Beat hesitated. He never got thanked for very much of anything these days and got used to never expecting it. He always thought that you’d do what you have to and that was that. “You would have drowned if I just left you to your own devices, please don’t thank me for doing what anyone would have done.” He shut his eyes tight inwardly swearing, whishing he didn’t just say that. He had been so frightened that he would have lost Corn yesterday and if the inevitable did happen, he knew he was going to be really hopeless without anyone to follow anymore. He didn’t like how pathetic that had sounded, but it was all true. “It was my fault; I didn’t put your safety strap on your leg so you got pulled into the rip tide.” He pressed his hands on the tiles in the shower and wished he would step through the wall and leave this conversation. Even being miles and miles away from the GG garage in the city, he was beginning to realise he hadn’t really left the little cage he had trapped himself in for all these years. Even now there was nowhere to run, no matter how terrified he was about what happened yesterday.

“No, I really mean that Ryan. I don’t think anyone else would have done what you did… even after how much of a jerk I had been. I know you said we’d have this week on a clean slate, but I really thought I was getting what I deserved this time. When I awoke and you were by my side I…I knew something terrible had happened and it must have really gave you a fright and you know if it was me in your shoes, I’d have been absolutely terrified and panicking that you were never going to wake up.” There was a pause. “You don’t know how often you scare me with some of the things you do, and the amount of times we’ve had to pull your mangled mess out of a place or a situation… there’s times where you even save our skins and then just collapse on us from the amount of damage you took… I know that I’m always worried we will lose you every time.”

Beat didn’t know what to say. The bloke he admired, cared about and worried over was actually admitting to being concerned about him. He didn’t know whether to be flattered or wither to feel insulted, as a leader you were supposed to say things like that to make others feel better.

He placed a hand over his heart, the beating was going crazy and he wasn’t sure why.

“Uh Ryan? I didn’t say anything wrong just now?”

“No. I just don’t have anything to say to that.”

There was a sound of relief. “Oh… good…in that case I was wondering if you’d like to go into the town a little bit, for like lunch or something? My treat.”

“Sure. Sounds alright.” Beat replied. He was still a little confused as to what was going on there and why he was feeling trapped and not feeling relived in hearing all those things being said. The water next door had stopped.

“Awesome. Whenever you’re ready to go, we’ll take one of the shuttle buses in.” and with that he listened carefully for Corn to leave. When he was sure he was on his own he rested against the walls of the shower, thinking about all the things he should have said just now. He’d have to tell him today, he’d have to…He couldn’t keep holding onto his feelings like this.

 

Walking down the stairs he was greeted by a long stare from Corn which made him blush. Corn realised and laughed it off. Beat was impressed, when it got right down to it, Corn was a very snappy dresser, you could have put him in anything and he always looked good in it. He only started wearing all the loose and daggy clothing when they started out as a small gang of three, making it easy to forget how neat and tidy the guy really was when he was out of his gang clothes. A tight singlet under a no sleeved denim jacket which cut just above the waist, tight black jeans showed that he was very shapely in the lower legs into his rather small feet. He was pretty long and straight up and down with little shape in-between, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have the muscles that made him bulk out into his clothes.

“Right to go?” Corn asked. Beat smiled and gave him a high five.

“Sure, let’s paint the town red.” He winked. Corn grabbed him by the arm and pulled him along towards the shuttle bus where there where a few locals already climbing aboard. It felt weird being pulled along, but he found himself not caring, as long as he was still able to be with him.

The little town was full of life, there was the smells from the fish market and other store holders hawking their wares. Occasionally Corn would wander off to have a closer look at something on a stall, but he never strayed too far away from Beat who seemed to be thinking of something else. A few times, Corn would look up just to check where he had left him, and when Beat was distracted by a sales person, had the guilty pleasure of checking him out. Corn would be the first to say that bright colours where always best on the tall skater, especially when they hugged him showing off his broad shoulders and chest, slimming inwards towards the waist. He looked amazing in light green. The shirt was plain, but it was adorned by a blue studded dog collar that hung loosely around his neck, and one bright red brace on one shoulder, the other hung loose around the leg and rested teasingly on his backside. Corn was a little surprised he had one, the tightest pants Beat ever wore still made him look like he had nothing in that area, but today the bright white denim was painfully tight and horrendously good at showing off what power he had in those legs. The tattoos on his arms just completed the picture, something Corn couldn’t even remotely begin to say he fantasized about. Beat was no supermodel, but he would defiantly have put Huge Jackman to shame. There was something rough and ruggedly attractive about him as he walked around. Everywhere he walked, there would always be a few who’d stop and stare and mistake him for a foreigner. Technically he was, but he’d also lived here long enough to blend in with a crowed when he wanted. Corn would never have dreamed of such a thing existed, but he could tell anyone who asked that his friend looked like sex on legs. It was a little confusing at first thinking about him in that way, but the longer he had been around him away from the city, the more he realised he was falling for him. It wasn’t a matter of it just happening because they were together at the moment; it was partly due to the friendship and respect they had already shared. Corn was finding his admiration turning into something more.

“Hey Corn, come here a sec.”

Corn snapped out of his little daydream and walked over to Beat, though it did start again when Beat looked at him with some emotions he had never seen before. Beat held up what looked like a shell similar to the one from yesterday. “Here, have it. I got this for you. This one won’t kill you.” He fastened it around Corn’s neck, while the blonde was looking at it, rolling it around in his hands.

“It’s prettier than the one on the beach.” Corn remarked. “Uh Ryan, we need to talk. Do mind if we find somewhere to sit down?”

“Um alright.” Beat let Corn hold him by the hand and lead him over to the shade of a teahouse. Corn noted that it didn’t take his friend long to looked worried. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea; Beat had been a little mentally absent since his conversation in the showers that morning and quite possibly had other things on his mind. They both took a seat and Corn drummed his fingertips on the table top nervously.

“Ryan, for the last couple of weeks, after I came to you for help, Me and Yo-yo have been…” he waved his other hand around, trying to think of a word that would sound ugly and hurtful. He was impressed there was none.

“Having sex, yes, I know.” Beat glanced away and refused to look at Corn.

“Uh yes, that.” Corn rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve realised that I am well into other guys, but there’s something not quite right with our relationship.”

Beat didn’t want to ask but felt morally obliged to do so. “And that would be?”

“Well it’s not really one. I think that’s a big ‘not quite right’ if there ever was one.” Corn frowned.

“What do you want me to do about it?” Beat growled. Corn didn’t register it.

“Well I don’t think there’s much you can do… but I guess what I wanted to know was there more to it than just, you know sex? Like is there any personality sharing, mixing of emotions, that sort of thing that well…”

Beat placed his hands on the table. “Look, I don’t care what you two do, but if it’s not happening and there is not attraction then just stop it and find someone else.” He stood up. “I have absolutely no care for what he chooses to do, as far as I’m concerned you should kick him to the curb.”

“Well hey now,” Corn grabbed one of Beat’s arms. “I’m asking you for advice here with what I should do, not to have you just get angry with me and not help me out here.”

“Well you should have thought about that before you let that dog killer put his hands down your pants then should have you?” Beat tugged his arm free and stood up knocking his seat back.

“What are you talking about? Pots was hit by a car and you know what? That was still nasty of you not helping Yo-yo when he had been attacked by a damn dog and needed medical aid!” Corn raised his voice.

Beat’s voice was low and full of venom. He didn’t need to shout, the deep sound he usually had was threatening enough. “The only way I’d help that lecherous little fuck would be over my fucking dead body, which I would have done if Pots didn’t attack the perverted little shit when he tried to fucking rape me while I was intoxicated. The only reason he went after you was because he knew I would keep turning him down until he found a weak spot and when he made the connection that I was fucking in love with you he was all over you like a rash as he knew it would get to me.” Beat had tears rolling down his cheeks. “The dog didn’t deserve to die Corn, it was an accident, but he didn’t deserve it…. And you know what? It’s my entire fucking fault. I shouldn’t have ever kissed you, that way I wouldn’t have panicked, afraid of what you’d think of me and I wouldn’t have gone through weeks of listening to threats every single night from the room next damn door!” he was shaking now, aware people where watching him. He didn’t care. There was no point anymore in doing so, He had ruined his whole life and had really destroyed it beyond repair so there was no turning back. “I’d have been happy to just follow you around you know, just watching from the sidelines. Ok not entirely true, but at least knowing that you were never going to have feelings for me made it so much easier... that was till I kissed you, now all I have been thinking of is you and nothing else! What’s funny, is there is NOWAY you and I are ever going to happen as well, you’ve said it yourself, you’ve already got someone. You know something? I’m so obsessed with you I’m even fantasizing about you and fucking wanking myself off to the idea that one day I’d get to be with you. All that stuff you said this morning; it was all because you HAVE to say those words because it’s your damn obligation as a leader… I know damn well when stuff is just being said for another person’s benefit too you know.” He took a few steps away from the table as Corn stood up and started to move closer to him to try and get him to calm down. “I held onto Pots long after he was dead ‘cause all I was getting was threats form the room next door, threats that I get every damn night just a whole lot worse. I really wish Ryota wasn’t there to hear them, that way I’d be long dead like poor pots because there was no way I wanted to live with myself. I still damn don’t but I’ve got no damn choice do I? I’m always looking out for you and you know something… you know not once this entire time since I ran out have you ever actually come and done anything about it or found out why. I don’t even know why I didn’t get the damn hint then, and I have no idea why it’s taken me till now to understand!” Beat then turned away and stalked into the crowd.

Corn thought twice before following him. Doing so now wouldn’t be a good idea. He wanted to tell beat he was thinking of ending it with Yo-yo as he DID like someone else… but there was little chance of that now. He had a point too about Corn not being there as a real friend neither. Corn remembered most of the time he had spent worrying about him was very little or short lived due to other things. He also concluded that Beat must have been lying about Pots but somehow it just didn’t fit… the redhead never really being good at lying. He wandered around the street a little while, still getting the odd stare from people who had witnessed the argument at the café and had spread the news around. In the end he clambered into a phone booth and rung the only phone number he knew that would put him onto someone that’d help it all make sense.

“Hello, this is Ryota speaking?”

“Soda… I mean, Ryota… it’s Yasuda.”

“Yasu? Hey how’s the holiday going?” Soda’s voice chirped.

Corn sighed; he had to come clean if anything was going to make sense.  “I need to ask about Pots.”

There was a pause. “I told you he was hit by a car.”

“Please don’t lie to me Ryo, I know he wasn’t. I want you to tell me everything you know. I need you too, even if Ryan has told you not too, I need to know everything, from his obsession with me to what happened that night with Yo-yo and the dog.” Corn pinched his brow to stop tears beginning to form.

“What’s going on Yasu?” Soda’s voice sounded concerned.

“I think I’ve lost the only person that’ ever really given me the time of day without ever thinking about anything else, that’s what’s wrong. What’s wrong is the fact I’m such a pathetic idiot to not see someone who’d blindly there for me all the damn time and let some opportunist get the better of me when all I really wanted this whole time was damn in front of me and calling out for help that I didn’t even know about.” There was a brief sniff as he tried to hide back any sobbing. “If you don’t tell me I’ll be wandering around in circles and honestly, that would not help at all. I know I need to get a hold of him and sit him down, but I can’t do anything like that without knowing all of these things first. I failed to tread with care and that’s what got me into this mess and I really, REALLY need help on this one.”

“Alright, but this is only because you asked. This is only what I have worked out for myself mind, only Ryan can tell you the real deal in detail… and I don’t think you are going to get it out of him unless you’re extremely lucky.”

“I’m listening.”

 

Hours had passed before Corn actually had got another shuttle bus back to the hotel. He carefully made his way up the stairs; pausing briefly to the noises and giggling that were coming from Ryth and Jazz’s room. At least out of the four of them, the two girls where having a good time. He took a deep breath, he knew this was something he had to do; otherwise he would be going back to a loveless relationship with someone he knew would manipulate him until he broke… and a few times almost had. Walking down the hall he could hear all the other noises of the building filling the entire void in his head. His heart was racing in fear of what he might find. What if Beat didn’t come back to the hotel at all? And if he did, was he going to let Corn explain himself? Would he listen?

He stood at the door a few moments, these evil little thoughts swimming about all over the place. He slowly opened the door and got a full whiff of smoke and a few other smells that filled his head with memories of when they found Yo-yo all wounded that night. It was stronger and until now, he didn’t have anything to associate it too. The menthol belonged to the cigarettes that Beat smoked and the alcohol smelled like all that imported stuff. There wasn’t much of it on Yo-yo when he remembered finding the guys shirt when he washed the blood out that night and at the time he didn’t think much of it. There were tiny hints of drink on the jumper and the smell of second hand smoke, but not enough to tie him to the smell that was in the main room of the garage. After listening to Soda on the phone, Corn had connected a few more fragments of the night that he knew where never going to be said.

Beat had sprawled himself on the double bed, lying amongst quite a lot of empty cans, ash tray full of cigarette butts on the floor by his feet. There was blood dripping on the floor from one of them. Corn started to move in until he heard a crunch under his shoe. Lifting it, he could see glass sicking into the sole. There was shattered glass all over the floor, mixed with blood. He looked up when he saw some movement on the bed, Beat just rolling over with a slight sobbing sound oblivious to Corn’s presence. On a closer look Corn could see he was shaking and in still in tears, clutching onto one of his hands blood all over the sheets with large shards of glass sticking out of it. He’d broken something while holding it and then tread his bare feet into glass that he couldn’t see. There was no way Corn could have been able to tell he’d been in pain for, but judging by the amount of blood, it hadn’t been long. Corn stepped over the glass to get to his back pack and dig around for anything that would be useful. He found a few spare shirts which he tore to use as makeshift bandages and a pair of scissors which would have to do as a pair of tweezers. He got up and pulled Beat into a sitting position and held him tightly, careful not to agitate the injury.

“It’s alright; everything is going to be ok. This is my fault, so I’m going to fix it, ok?” he tried hard to fight back his own tears. He had only ever seen Beat in such a mess once before and hoped he’d never have to see his mate go through it again. He could fight how he felt, helpless while his friend and till recently his crush was falling apart. “This is going to hurt, so please don’t let go of me while I get all the glass out, hell bite me if you have to make you feel better.” He held the stricken hand out and applied pressure to the wrist before starting to take any of the glass shards out while holding the arm steady under the light, carefully placing the debris onto another shred of cloth on his lap. He not surprised that there was minimum whimpering on Beat’s part, the guy having gone through things that where more painful than this, but it never cancelled the pain out for even the smallest of injuries. There was one tiny shard that he pulled out that he had to hold on tightly as Beat tried to jerk himself free in response to the stabbing feeling too close to a tendon in his palm. When he was satisfied, Corn wrapped the rest up pretty tightly, as there was little chance of being able to get to the bathroom and wash the wound out straight away. He moved down to the injured foot and was relived, there was only one shard still lodged there. He fixed up the foot as best as he could, and then crawled back up to hold the redhead close again, tightly as he dared. It was things like this that always scared Corn the most, that one day he’d come back and Beat wouldn’t be there following him from behind because he’d been injured or worse.

“I meant everything I said this morning Ry. You always scare me. I’m always afraid that one day I’ll turn around and you won’t be there.” Corn cuddled Beat really tight into his chest. “You also didn’t let me finish before, although I guess I could have worded it a hell of a lot better than I had. What I was trying to say was that I ever since that kiss, I’ve never stopped thinking about you and have been too afraid to admit it. Yo-yo came to me when I was confused and unsure of anything, and I was rather worried about you after the way you …well …left me sitting there. He promised me that he knew something that you didn’t about being interested in other guys and well I fell for it. It’s wasn’t smart I know, I wish I didn’t…but Yo-yo came in and took the lead and all I could do was follow. In the end he knew I was worried about you, used that against me to well, let’s say I’m not proud of what I did.” He fell quiet, resting his head against Beats, tears falling down uncontrollably. “I know I can never get you to forgive me for any of that, especially now that I know what hell you went through and the useless shit I’ve been. I don’t deserve to have you’re affections, nor do I deserve to be here with you right now….you deserve far better than anything I could ever give you. It’s my fault that your hurt so bad in the first place and I can’t really say anything else other than I’m sorry.” He buried his face into the red stands of hair. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

He didn’t notice Beat’s hands snaking around his waist holding him just as tight, although he did heard a soft reply back that was muffled into his shirt.

“We’re both idiots.”

Even hearing this, through his tears Corn had a small smile. “Yeah we’re both fucking morons. Why do we do this shit to each other?”

“You don’t want me to answer that.” Beat tried to muffle a pathetic attempt at laughing. Most of the beer had worn off, but he was still rather groggy from it. “So now we’ve admitted we’re both stupid morons… what now?”

“I don’t know. After all of that and knowing what I have to do when I get back to go back to normal…I’m not sure.”

“Well…” Beat hesitated.  “We could start again this time… I mean third time’s the charm right?” he swallowed, a motion that while they were so close could be felt by Corn also. “But this time on the right foot… and maybe just take our time and see where it goes? We both have has a bad start to this, but I don’t know, maybe we could try and change that?”

“I’d like that.” Corn paused. “Uh, this might sound weird, but how do I sort this all out when we get back? That is… if it all works out?”

“I guess well get to it when we come to it.” Beat shifted, meaning Corn had to eventually let go of his death grip. Beat looked like a real wreck; the blood down the front of the bright green shirt didn’t help his image. Corn had to let out a chuckle as Beat wouldn’t be himself without someone’s, usually his own blood all over him. Beat’s green eyes gave him a dirty look. “You don’t look so crash hot yourself sunshine after all those tears.”

“Of course not, However you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t look a mess.” And with that this got a laugh out of the older bloke too.

“Fair call. Fair call.” Beat raised his arms in defeat.

“You always look your best when you smile.” Corn couldn’t help himself, it just came out.

He didn’t expect Beat to move in close and touch his cheek and lightly press his lips against his own. It was soft and gentle, slightly playful…all done with care. Corn was quick to grab onto him just as it ended, in fear that Beat would run for a second time. “And you always look beautiful when your flustered.” There was a lot of love in that one short moment and Corn didn’t want it to leave… even if Beat was going to fool around. “We better clean up that mess on the floor before someone steps in in second time. That rather hurt.”

“I’ll do that. Just a little later, ok?” Corn murmured. “I just want to hold you.”

“Aww…” Beat mocked teasingly before brining Corn into another longer feathery kiss.

“Do you really… you know, think about me in that way?” Corn asked.

“What? Oh you mean do I really jerk off in the shower thinking of you?”

“Well …YES.”

Beat laughed, before leaning forward. “Of course I do… though I’ve never been proud of that guilty secret. What about you and that tongue piecing thing? Does it makes kissing and things all strange?” and with that Corn pulled him right in and kissed him as long as he could, carefully using his tongue to explore the soft confines of Beat’s mouth. He could taste the lingering flavour of the beer he’d been drinking, and the thought made him want to laugh out loud breaking off the kiss.

“Well?” he asked, smiling.

“Well what? I have nothing to compare it to.” Beat sighed. “That was a little unfair.”

“You mean to tell me you’ve never been kissed before?” Corn gave him a sideways look.

“Well once…before I came to Japan… actually its part of the reason I left. The guy beat the living shit out of me afterward. I must admit,” Beat did have a sly smile. “I made the fucker run through five of my neighbour’s backyards, over fences and under and electric one into a paddock at least a few miles down the road. I got caught in some barbed wire trying to crawl under another fence into another paddock when he caught up to me and belted the living crap out of me.” He grinned. “When I was fifteen I was a little speedy idiot and knew how to run as fast as I fucking could. After that I spend most of my nights running home from school in the same fashion as I usually had all his mates and all my ex-buddies hunting me down for what I was. I still have a lot of scars from that, but they’re buried under all the other ones since.”

“How come you didn’t try to escape when we all found out?” Corn had to ask.

“You know I’m not entirely sure, mostly because I had nowhere else to go I guess.” He shrugged. “There was also the fact that at the time, a lot of you didn’t seem to care, as long as I was still the same person. I’m not really sure what changed, but it was inevitable I guess… I don’t go out of my way to have others like me in any case.” He smiled again. “It was a long time ago, I don’t even remember what it felt like; I remember the thrashing I got more than anything. What about you? How’s it compare to kissing girls? I have never been able to do it, unless it’s on the cheek or something.”

Corn thought about it. “Girl wise? I never got that far. Unless you count kissing my sister on occasions like her birthday… then no I can’t really tell you anything. However I had never kissed a guy before until you did it to me and well… I’m going to be brutally honest with you. If I had to pick between you and someone else for a first ever real kiss, I’d pick you every time. There’s something about them that makes me want more and even just kissing you for now is enough of a thrill for me. I can’t relay explain it any better other than the fact I don’t ever want you to stop.”

Beat had gone quiet and had looked down. “I’ve never had anyone say something like that to me before.”

“Good, because I want to be the only one that can.” Corn pulled Beat down onto the sheets with him, kissing him softly and repeatedly, the occasional slow exploratory kiss included. Beat eventually laid his head on Corn’s chest and they both cuddled in together.

“Yasu, I’ve always liked you, more than what I probably should have. I love you more than anything else in the world, and I’d do anything just to be with or near you.” Beat whispered softly. Corn’s fingers slowly ran through his hair, the feeling was so nice that he was starting to drift off to sleep.

“I’ve never had anyone ever say that to me either, or anyone do what you have done for me over and over again over the years I’ve known you.” Corn admitted. He could feel Beat’s body pressed against his, his chest breathing along in time with his own heartbeat.

“It will never stop I promise you…”

“Ry?”

There was silence. Beat had drifted off to sleep. Corn wrapped his arms around him tightly and protectively and whispered into the darkness, “You are mine to protect and I shall try and do a damn better job of it… just as you always look out and try to protect me without even thinking about it. That is a promise.”


End file.
